Walk to Heaven
by Princess-Xion
Summary: HIATUS "I shall open my burning heart to you, digest you till my stomach turns, and walk to heaven at the earth's end. One sun, one moon." A tale of love, envy, secrets, rage, and betrayal. Based on a 1916 Korean poem titled "April" by Pak Tu-Jin. RoxasxXion.
1. Don't Fall Asleep at the Helm

**Title:**** Inextinguishable**

**Author: Mariah Kincaid**

**Summary: "I shall open my burning heart to you, digest you till my stomach turns, and walk to heaven at the earth's end. One sun, one moon." A tale of love, secrets, rage, and betrayal. Based on a 1916 Korean poem titled "April" by Pak Tu-Jin. RoxasxXion.**

**Rating: It's rated T for now, but the rating will definitely go up.**

**::Author's Note::**

**x-The page breaks are actually lyrics to a Sleeping with Sirens song called "Don't Fall Asleep at the Helm." Once those lyrics run out, I plan to use the lyrics to "Let Love Bleed."**

**Disclaimer: I will never write a disclaimer. It's pointless and unnecessary. FF is a disclaimer website in and of itself.**

* * *

"**April" by Pak Tu-Jin**

**1916~**

_A dagger pointed at me,_

_A cup of poison to be drained,_

_I must embrace you._

_I shall open my burning heart to you,_

_Digest you till my stomach turns,_

_And walk to heaven at the earth's end._

_One sun one moon_

_**Inextinquishable**_

_The timeless flow of water unending_

_Till my soles harden into paws,_

_This naked body will endure your lashes_

_Till flowers bloom everywhere._

* * *

/**I lost my heart**\\

"_For how long can we run from reality? For how long can we hope to justify such foolish mistakes? The foolish mistakes that we as humans make can no longer be said to be just, nor intelligent. There is a time where we must stop in the middle of a particularly fleeting point in time, and we must realize that time is not going to stop for us; that Father Time does not twist the Clock of Forever for one soul. We will look up into the sky, and we will see our asinine dreams and petty insecurities dissolve into the sun that breathes the breath of God into our lungs. We will finally see the truth, and the error in our ways will be brought to light. _

_ In that moment, we become conscious of everything-all of the pain on this Earth, all of the emotions, all of the love, all of the indecisiveness, all of the laughter. All of the moments that we take for granted will solidify in our minds, and we will open our heart to take on all of the burdens of our fellow humans._

_ We have an epiphany, and we suddenly begin to understand that nothing is meaningless besides our own selfishness. Everything has purpose, and has a life. Every mammal, every plant, every sea creature; even the clouds that float by in a white haze have significance._

_ The more we come to see this, the more we begin to realize that running is no longer appropriate. We see that this world that God has created is not for one, but for all. Anxiety, suffering, nightmares, and anguish-it all fades with time._

_ And fear: it becomes obsolete."_

My thoughts trickled by along riverbed of confusion. They never made sense, and yet . . . They did, all at once. To others, I was about as complex as a piece of rice, but to me . . . Everything was simplified to the utmost degree. But then again, don't we all understand our own thoughts? Don't we all understand our hidden desires?

Before I met Roxas, I thought I understood.

/**my home is the ocean**\\

I stood at the edge of the cliff, hidden behind the low-hanging branches of the willow tree. Just beyond the edge of the cliff was an abyss of black, where I knew led to a hopeless void of nothingness. Nobody had ever seen the bottom of the chasm, and not even the light of tonight's full moon was far-reaching enough. My thoughts whirled around in my head, a constant buzzing in the forefront of my mind. I was always reminding myself that to be selfish was to be weak, but that to be munificent was to be strong.

To be strong was to be alone.

The willow tree had been planted on my family's property hundreds of years ago by a Native American tribe that had inhabited the area. We lived in an old Victorian Era home close to the edge of a cliff, and behind it rested the tree. Before America had been founded, the Native Americans had passed the legend of the tree's spiritual powers down throughout the generations. It was said that the tree was their mother, and that she had created them with the whispery branches that grew from her trunk.

I came to the willow tree to think as often as I possibly could. To escape the ongoing hum and general tumult of life was my constant desire, and I found just that beneath the comforting warmth of their leaves. I found that in the moments that I pushed past the willow's curtain, all stray thoughts would dissipate, and I would have a clear, stable mind.

"Xion! Hey!"

I heard someone call my name softly from the back door to my house, and I knew that I had to leave my private sanctuary. I knew that life didn't stop for anyone; least of all me.

So I took one final deep, calming breath, slipped back into my all-black Vans, and moved through the willow curtain a second time. I knew that tonight was going to put me out of my element, but I put on the face I wanted everyone to see: the face of the fun-loving party girl who just wanted to have a good time with her friends.

At the door stood my best friend and the only girl I could trust, Namine Frierson. She waved energetically to me, the moonlight glinting off of her bleached-blonde tresses. Her cerulean eyes twinkled, the intense blue matching mine in color. She was clad in a simple pair of dark blue skinny jeans, red Vans, and a black hoodie with white drawstrings. She smiled, and I smiled back, marveling at how great she could look in something so simple.

We hugged as we met up and she linked her arm through mine.

"So this is your first show, huh?" she asked me brightly.

We were headed to see the town's most popular band that night, of which was rumored to be extremely talented. The boys that the band consisted of were all in college, but they had graduated from mine and Namine's same high school just the year before. The town's youth suspected that the band would go far, and the newspapers stated that the lead singer, Roxas Harada, "had a voice to rival the angels." Naturally, I was curious to hear this band, and when Namine had found out that I didn't know who Roxas Richardson was, she and our other friend Larxene had panicked and decided that the band's next show would be the first one I went to, no excuses.

"Yeah," I said, smiling at her. "Just let me go get something on real quick."

"Okay," she said, following me into my house.

We walked through the wide, open area that was the kitchen, and turned right down a hallway that led out into the entrance area, where the traces of the Victorian Era architecture still remained. The grand staircase twisted up and around to the second floor, seeming to grow up out of the black-and-white marble floor.

Namine and I, used to the natural beauty of the house, headed straight up the stairwell and to my bedroom without giving so much as a second glance to the house's design.

Once inside, I went to my walk-in closet and Namine made a beeline for my CD case to look for something. She chatted amiably to me while I chose my outfit.

"So, I'm just telling you this band is like, totally _amazing_. They're kind-of like Asking Alexandria. I know you like Asking Alexandria, so you'll _definitely _like this band," she said happily, pulling out Asking Alexandria's _Stand Up and Scream_ album and looking at the cover.

"What's the band's name?" I asked as I came out of the closet carrying a pair of ripped light blue skinny jeans that were so light a blue that they were almost white in one hand, and a maroon tee shirt with a V-shaped neckline in the other.

Namine put the CD back and pulled out another: The Devil Wears Prada's _With Roots Above and Branches Below _album, which was one of my personal favorites.

"Sleeping with Sirens," she said to me, turning over the CD case in her hand to glance over the track list. Then, she replaced it on the shelf and grabbed out a random Enter Shikari album. Namine had always been fascinated with my extensive collection of hardcore techno, metalcore, and post hardcore albums, and every time she came over, she liked to look at as many of the cases as she could.

"And you say the lead singer is good?" I asked as I pulled my white sundress up over my head, revealing my mismatching pink bra and green underwear. I turned to look at my body in the full-length mirror that hung on my pink-painted wall, directly next to my bed, checking to make sure that I hadn't put on any weight.

It was tough maintaining my petite figure; I wore strictly size zero jeans and an extra-small in shirts. It wasn't that I was overtly obsessed with the appearance of my body, it was just that what with my mother being a retired Japanese supermodel and my father being a Korean actor stationed here in Florida to work on a movie, I was under constant pressure to look my best. There were many times that my father held dinner parties or balls at our mansion, or my mother would have supermodel friends, former agents, and past clients over for lunch. Usually, those lunches ended in me trying on and modeling the designers' clothes and booking a few odd modeling jobs, or the dinners involved me singing a traditional Korean or Japanese ballad for my father's most famous friends before dessert. It was a stressful life, as I was a natural introvert from birth, but I knew that when one was thrust into such a fast-flowing river, one had to cope as best as one could.

I turned left and right, admiring the fact that my pin-straight hair-as black as tar and as shiny as the shimmering stars-had grown to the small of my back, the tips just about touching my hips. I kept it cut in razored layers, with sideswept bangs that were cut to frame my face, the shorter part hugging the left side of my face and gradually lengthening to a centimeter or so past my jawline. My heart shaped face was home to my father's large Korean eyes, shaped like widened willow leaves and turned upward slightly at the outer corners. My mother's small Japanese mouth and lips curved gracefully below my button nose with a natural pout and softness to them that Namine had many times expressed envy of. I had willowy arms and legs, my neck was long and elegant, and my cheekbones were high and round.

It took me a moment to realize that Namine was eyeing me with a strangely blank look in her eyes. I frowned at her.

"What?" I asked, turning to the side to view my virtually nonexistent buttocks. "Does my butt look bigger or something?"

Namine blinked rapidly and shuddered as if coming out of a deep sleep. "No, of course not! I was just . . . Thinking." She looked away, and then met my eyes again, smiling. "You look great!"

I smiled brightly, flashing her my set of pearly white, straight teeth. "Thanks!"

I slipped my pole-like legs into my jeans and then pulled my V-neck on over my head, letting my hair fan out around my body. Namine began to tell me a little bit about the band while I sat down at my vanity to apply the fake eyelashes and sparkling white eye shadow I wore so religiously each day. I quickly swiped a shimmer stick along my bottom eyelid, pressed the eye-opening lashes onto my top lash lines while the glue was still tacky, and then teased the back layers of my hair just enough to give them some volume.

Though I was particularly against the whole "caring-about-your-looks" thing, I knew that looking good was everything with my parents. If I didn't at least try, they'd start to treat me a little bit differently. They tended to regard me with slight distaste whenever I didn't brush my hair or wear any make-up. It was slightly stressful, but I didn't want to say anything for fear of making them angry with me.

"Ready to go?" Namine asked me after I'd pulled on my black hooded jacket with the white-lined zipper and re-arranged my hair.

I smiled. "Yep," I said.

As we clambered into Namine's small blue BMW and she slid the Asking Alexandria CD into her car's player, I felt the cold, clammy feeling of trepidation sinking into my skin. I didn't much like crowds, and on our way out of the house, Namine had informed me that _every single _Scene kid in this town and the two surrounding towns came to see Sleeping with Siren's shows.

That was a hell of a lot of people.

I gripped the edges of the passenger's seat as we headed through the quiet streets of the suburban area to the downtown area, and finally to the middle school's gym, where the show was going to occur. The heavy guitars, pounding drums, and raucous screaming of my favorite Asking Alexandria song _Hey There Mr. Brooks _swirled around and around in my head, until I felt like I wanted to fall into the reprieve from life that the music was presenting. I suddenly yearned to be back home, underneath the welcoming branches of my willow tree.

/**the waves underneath**\\

I was suffocating. I was swimming in an endless sea of heat and choking desperation, and I felt like I was desperately trying to claw my way out of the inescapable. My arms were tensing up with my desperate need to get out of the gym. I couldn't understand why, if the show wasn't going to start for another thirty minutes, all of the people were already there. I was getting sick and tired of having to avoid the stares of boys who all thought their shoulder-length hair was more "brutal" than the guy's next to them. I was getting annoyed of the wanna-be Scene girls coming up to me and telling me how much they wanted my hair, and how pretty I was, and basically just sucking up to me so that they could elicit a compliment back from me. I was getting irritated with the fact that Namine kept leaving me alone in the middle of the crowd to talk to her other friends from school that she saw.

I walked outside of the gym and into the glow of one of the campus lights, watching as more and more people filed in through the gym doors. In the parking lot beside the gym, I could see a large white van parked there, and a few people were helping to unload the band's equipment from it.

I walked over to the fence that separated me from the parking lot, and threaded my fingers through the metal, watching with muted curiosity as a couple boys wearing jeans that looked to be tighter and smaller than mine pushed each other around while laughing. One of the boys was tall and lanky, with long silvery-gray hair that fell in ragged layers to about an inch past his shoulders; the other was short and lanky with long chestnut hair that fell in defined spikes around his face-he kept messing it up with his hand, causing the spikes to jut about all over the place in a wild, unkempt mess. Both boys had tattoos all up their arms, and the shorter boy had the underside of his nose pierced with a black horseshoe-shaped ring. I watched them avidly as they messed around, listening to the things they were saying.

"So when are you asking Kairi out?" the silver-haired one asked the shorter one. He wore a black V-neck with his black skinny jeans, all-black Vans like mine, and a bright blue studded belt. His arms were muscular, but not so much as to repulse.

The spiky-haired one punched the taller one playfully on the arm. "Shut the fuck up, Riku," he snarled, though I could tell he wasn't angry; just embarrassed. "I don't even know if she likes me."

"Dude," Riku laughed. "She _totally_ likes you. In fact, it's hella uncomfortable being in the same room as you two when you're together."

The spiky-haired boy scoffed and jabbed his fingers into Riku's chest, pushing him back a bit.

"Oh, really?" he demanded, pushing Riku a second time. "How so?"

Riku grinned wolfishly. "The sexual tension can be cut with a knife, Sora."

Sora growled and pounced on Riku, mussing up his hair so that the taller one began to panic. He screamed incoherently about his "beloved silver tresses," and Sora merely roared with victory.

Behind me, I heard voices coming closer and, thinking it was Namine and Larxene, I turned with a smile on my face.

The smile faltered when all I saw was a couple of tall boys walking up. They both had their fancy "Scene hair" and magical "skinny jeans" and their dreamy "lip rings and septums and gauges," and I knew that most girls would die of joy to see a giant group of them nearing her. I, however, was a different kind of girl. Sure, I liked boys, and I preferred Scene boys over any other stereotyped boy, but alone? In the dark?

Not so much.

My back was to the fence, so I started to sidle to my right.

One of the boys was suddenly blocking my way.

"Hey," was all he said, smiling down at me through ink-black bangs.

"Um, hi," I said slowly, moving to my left.

The other boy was there.

"How's it goin'?" he asked me. His hair was dyed a deep auburn red; I could see the reddish tints glinting in the nearby streetlamp's glow.

"Fine . . . ?" I said, attempting to push past the black-haired boy.

He placed a hand on my left shoulder and pushed me back against the fence, and I felt a jolt of fear spike downward through my body. I shoved his hand away and glared up at him.

"So . . . Are you here to see the show?" he asked, smirking at my obvious trembling.

"Does it matter?" I questioned harshly, trying to push through once again. My mind was reeling and my body was pumping with adrenaline. Looking about, I could see that the majority of the people had gone into the gym, waiting for the show to start. If I was caught outside by myself with these guys, I would be in deep trouble.

The redhead reached up to play with some of my hair, and I stared up at him with my bright, cerulean eyes widened in disbelief of the fact that he actually had the nerve to touch me.

"Why don't we go to my car? I've got beer and pills," he said, as if it was supposed to be some wonderfully clever way to convince me to be stupid enough to go willingly to a car with a couple of college-age guys.

I tapped my chin pensively. "I _do _have a headache . . . And beer would be _perfect _to wash it down with. . ." I glared up at them. "How about no, you stupid fucks? Now, can you maybe let me go into the gym?"

. . .

At least . . . That's what _would _have happened if I had obtained the courage to say such a thing over my seventeen years of breathing oxygen on this Earth. No, instead, I just tried to knee him in the groin, but failed miserably.

"You think you're so clever, don't you, you stupid little bitch? Trying to hurt me," the black-haired boy whispered angrily into my ear, sending a chill of icy-cold terror through my veins. He leaned into me, breathing heavily into my ear. I hunched my shoulders, shrinking away from him, and placed my palms flat on his chest, aiming to shove him away from me.

"St-Stop," I whimpered as the redhead grabbed my hands to stop me from moving. I couldn't believe this was going to happen. I could not believe that Namine would leave me alone so that this would happen. This was all Namine's fault. It was all Namine's fault.

"This one should be feisty," the redhead chuckled, easily batting my frantically struggling arms away as he reached for the button on my jeans.

"_Hey_!" a voice barked, and a chill of another kind wormed its way down to my gut. The two boys seemed to jump away from me as if I were on fire, and I stumbled forward. I landed on my hands and knees in the grass, and the person who had saved me came to help me to my feet.

When I looked up into the endless azure depths that were his eyes, I was thrown headfirst into stunned silence. His unruly, choppily-cut spiky hair was a dirty blonde color and fell into his eyes in only the most handsome way. It was long to about the middle of his neck, and his bangs swept diagonally across his face from left to right, constantly shielding one eye so that he had to toss his head to enable himself to see clearly. His round face was as smooth and perfect as a boy's face could be, and his mouth hosted a set of not-too-thin, not-too-full lips. His facial piercings consisted of two small black studs directly underneath his bottom lip on each side, and two mirroring those above his top lip, a black septum piercing like Sora's (the guy I had seen earlier, with the brown hair), and a small diamond in his right ear. His tall, extremely thin figure was defined by a toned torso, small thighs, and slightly muscular arms-all parts of him that looked exceptionally delicious in his black skinny jeans and light blue V-neck. In short, he was _the _hottest guy that I had ever been lucky enough to gaze upon in my entire eighteen years of living. I could not even believe that God had created such a delectable creature. I mean, he was _hot_.

_ Hot._

I briefly wondered what it would be like to have my first kiss with this positively scrumptious boy, but the thought was blasted from my mind when the guy who had helped me roared at the two college guys:

"Get the _fuck _out of here before I beat the living _shit _out of you!"

They were gone in a heartbeat, and when I looked up again, the boy was staring down at me with a mixture between amusement and curiosity glittering in his eyes.

"Th-Thank you . . ." I said gratefully, bowing my head just once.

"Where are you from?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest and looking me up and down.

"Korea," I answered, feeling slightly embarrassed that he had noticed my accented English before anything else.

He was silent for a moment before asking, "What's your name?"

"Xion," I answered instantly, accidentally almost yelling my own name at the top of my lungs. I shyly placed my hand over my mouth; I was usually more in control of my emotions. Somehow, though, this boy's good looks were causing me to lower my guard.

"Xion, huh?" he said, giving me a small quirk of the lips that was more of a smug smirk than anything else. He leaned forward and ruffled my hair. I gasped and reached up to fix it, but he grabbed my wrists to stop me. My eyes caught sight of a small black tattoo on one of his wrists-a simple black cross with red-and-green roses and thorns surrounding it. I briefly wondered if he was a Christian, like I was, and it made me want to smile.

"Don't," he grinned, his eyes twinkling and causing my heart to stop mid-beat. "It looks great."

/**will soon be my home**\\

"_These things I'm so afraid of, they don't mean anything. They don't . . . Mean a . . . Thing!_" Roxas roared into the microphone, finishing the song that he had claimed to have written specifically for the show. Cheers erupted all around me as soon as Sora finished the last strum of his electric guitar, and I swear to God I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, too.

From the back of the gym, I could still feel Roxas's eyes piercing into me. Even though I was so far away from him that I couldn't even see the little black tattoo on his wrist that I had seen when he reached up to stop me from messing with my hair, but I could still see those God damn beautiful eyes.

Namine shrieked happily when we met outside of the gym, and I couldn't help but jump about with her.

"I can _totally _see why you like them so much!" I gushed before telling her all about my encounter with the two college boys before the concert had started. She seemed horrified at first, but as soon as I told her that I had met the lead singer and that he had rescued me, her eyes widened and she squealed.

"Are you fucking _serious_?" she gasped. "_No way_!"

"Way," I replied, unable to stop smiling. "He even messed up my hair and then wouldn't let me fix it~"

"Yeeeeeee~" Namine giggled.

Glancing over Namine's shoulder, I was surprised to see the drummer from the band, a crimson-haired guy with the tiniest waist that I had ever seen on a male in my life, came strolling up with his arm around none other than Larxene.

Larxene smirked, her cropped blonde hair falling into her eyes.

"What's up, guys?" she said. "Wanna hit the after party with us?"

Namine put her hands on her hips. "Sure, as soon as you introduce us to your new boy toy."

Larxene rolled her eyes and introduced the green-eyed redhead as Axel.

"He's not my boy_toy_, Nam. He's my boy_friend_, and we've been together for like, a month now." Larxene brushed her bangs out of her eyes and smiled a little bit. "Anyway, come with us to the party." She turned her smile on me. "Roxas said he wanted you to come, specifically, by the way."

My hands flew to my mouth in shock.

"_Really_? He _asked _you to ask _me_ to come?" I whispered, surprised that someone as popular as him would want to hang out with _me_.

I turned to Namine, and upon seeing the same blank, almost sickened look on her face that I had seen in my bedroom earlier that night, the honored smile fell off of my face.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my forehead furrowing in concern. "We don't have to go to the party if you're too tired."

Namine's eyes seemed to suddenly come to life and she smiled with the light of a thousand suns coming out of her mouth. She linked arms with me, insisting that she was all right, and we headed back toward the gym.

Behind the school there was a small apartment complex. Small groups of two and three people threaded steadily from the back of the school to the parking lot of the apartments, heading toward apartment number eighty-nine. As we neared the door to the aforementioned home, I could see that the inside was packed. Music blared from speakers, and I was curious as to why none of the complex's other inhabitants were coming out to complain about the noise.

Namine broke away from me and went ahead with Axel and Larxene, entering the house without me.

Pissed, I stopped in my tracks and threw my arms up in exasperation. This was the umpteenth time that night that Namine had left me by myself in a large group of unknown people. I wasn't even going to be able to talk to her about it, because by the time the morning rolled around, and I eventually found myself a way home, my anger would have been suppressed into the small compartment in my heart that I reserved for such things.

I stepped into the apartment and shoved my way through the drunken teens, bitterly thinking to myself about the fact that half of them weren't even old enough to drink. It was extremely hot, and the sounds of Blessthefall were pulsating all around me. Everyone was dancing and talking and laughing, and the noise-the noise was almost unbearable.

When I finally made it to the stairway, I could tell that it was somewhat quieter on the top floor of the townhouse. Due to the fact that I hadn't yet spotted him in the apartment, I was beginning to think that Roxas hadn't really wanted to see me that badly. I assumed that Larxene had to have been exaggerating when she'd said that I had been "specifically" asked for, and I felt the strangest urge to punch her in the ovaries.

In the upstairs hall, there were only a couple of people and the sound from the music was muted. A girl with short, cropped black hair stumbled past me, drunk out of her mind with her eyes going every which way. She handed me a half-empty bottle of some sort of liquor, and I stared at her incredulously.

"Can you . . . Hold . . . Thank . . . Come on, Leon!" She then pushed directly beyond me and practically fell head over heels down the stairway. A tall boy with shoulder-length ragged brown hair followed after her in a panic.

"Yuffie! Come back!" he cried, waving his hands around in the air in front of him.

I rolled my eyes and continued down the small hallway, past two shut doors, until I came to a half-open door at the end of the carpeting. I placed my hand on the knob and pushed it open all the way, peering into the bedroom. It was an over-all simple sort of room, with a bed covered in black sheets and a zebra-print comforter, a black dresser in the corner underneath a black-curtained window, white carpeting, and a computer desk in the corner closest to the door.

Roxas laid out on the bed, his fingers tapping away at a Nintendo DS. His severely azure eyes turned to me, and I took an unconscious step backward, almost dropping the bottle of liquor that I held in my right hand.

"Xion, hey!" he said brightly, sitting up and setting his DS down on the bed. He patted the open space next to him on his mattress.

"No thanks," I said, preferring to take a seat at his computer desk. I swirled around in the chair so that I was facing him, and set the glass bottle next to his closed white laptop.

"So what's up?" he smirked.

I leaned back in the seat and crossed one leg over the other. One eyebrow arched up into the shorter side of my bangs and I smiled brightly.

"I don't know if I should tell you," I said softly. "You might hold it against me." I wasn't usually this bold when talking to guys, but tonight, sitting in front of this extremely gorgeous singer, I felt a little daring.

Roxas clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back against his black furry pillows. He, too, had his brows raised.

"Now, why would I hold anything against you if I rescued you-like a knight-in-shining-armor, might I add-and then invited you to my house to party?" he asked.

"I dunno . . ." I drawled lazily, spinning around in the chair until I faced the computer. "I can't be too entirely sure that you aren't going to hold the rescue against me, either."

"I wouldn't sink so low," he chuckled.

"Why," I gasped in mock astonishment, "but you already have."

"No, I didn't!" he protested.

"Oh, but what is _this_?" I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Did I not _just _hear you reminding me that you saved me from certain harm _just _so that I would tell you what was up?"

He was silent for a second, before he threw his head back and laughed. His laugh was like gold. I felt my hands trembling on the top of the desk, and I closed my eyes, counting in my head to calm me down. I'd never before felt so attracted to a male.

It scared me.

I heard the bed squeak, and then felt his presence behind me. I didn't move as I saw his hands slide down the shoulders of the chair and curl around the armrests of the computer chair. When he turned the chair around, we came face-to-face, and I felt his breath mingling with mine. My heart pounded, and I stared up at him with wide, slightly terrified eyes. He was smirking again, seeming to hold thousands of thoughts in such a simple facial expression.

My breath halted in its tracks as he lifted his left hand and trailed his fingers up my cheek and into my silken black tresses. My body tensed, and I fought the urge to bat his hand away. I was thinking coherently, but it seemed that my body was refusing to submit to my head's wishes. I found myself screaming in the confines of my own mind for him to kiss me, and I was shocked at myself. For I had yet to have a _real_ first kiss, and for the kiss to be given to me by Roxas?

Good dear Lord Almighty.

Roxas grinned somewhat wickedly, leaning in closer and closer until I thought that I could no longer take the amount of distance that still remained between us. My fingers began to tremble, and I forced them to stay curled around the arms of the chair.

"I won't hold it against you . . ." Roxas murmured huskily. "If you don't hold _this_ against me . . ."

I inhaled sharply and my eyelids fluttered shut as our breathing synchronized and he prepared to close the distance between our lips. I couldn't remember, for the life of me, ever feeling so alive. It felt like every part of my body was tingling; So badly, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me into oblivion, until nothing remained of me besides a puddle of nothingness.

"_Xion_!" came Namine's screeching, almost angry voice from the door. "_There _you are!"

My head snapped backward, away from Roxas as if his lips were covered in poison. He remained in the same position, his hand still curved in the air, and his lips parted. I got to my feet and left the room in a heartbeat, extremely aware of how close I'd come to giving in to his advances. It angered me that I had let my guard down so much, as to allow a boy I didn't even know to try to kiss me. I didn't want to think about what would have occurred if Namine hadn't come into the room.

"I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!" she said, stamping her foot and looking over at Roxas with a strange expression in her baby blue eyes. She grabbed my arm and pushed me out the door, ignoring my protests.

"Calm down, okay?" I tried to tell her as she continued to push and shove me down the stairs, around all of the people, and to the front door.

"I didn't bring you here so you could give away your virginity to the first guy who looks hot enough," she exclaimed angrily once we were outside in the parking lot.

I felt a hot rush of rage rear up within my gut, and I whirled on her.

"What the Hell, Namine?" I demanded. "Who are _you _to tell _me_ who I kiss or don't kiss? For your information, I can kiss whoever I want!"

Namine's nostrils flared, as they always did when she was livid, and she put her hands on her small hips.

"Are you kidding me, Xion?" she snarled. "Imagine what would have happened to your reputation if anyone had found out that you'd given it up to some random guy?"

"He's not some _random_ guy, for one," I shot back defiantly, running my hands backward through my waist-length hair in exasperation. "You said yourself that you thought he was hot!"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean that you should go and have _sex _with him!" she screamed, stamping her foot.

I moved to go back to the house, but Namine stepped in my way.

"Get _out _of my face," I snapped, tossing my long hair behind my back.

"No," Namine said, folding her arms over her chest. "Why don't you get out of _my _way?"

"That doesn't even make sense!" I shrieked. I tried to go to the right, but she blocked my way again. I curled my hands into fists. Tonight was supposed to be a fun night out with my friends-it wasn't supposed to end in a cat fight over a guy.

By now, half of the partygoers had left the house and were now watching us. The majority of them were begging for Namine and I to fight, but I knew that we wouldn't. Granted, I was angrier at her than I had ever before been, but I didn't think that we needed to hit each other to express how we felt. Besides, I wasn't usually this aggressive. It was surprising that I had even found the courage to yell at her when I usually never yelled at _anybody._

"Ladies, ladies!" a smooth voice remarked from behind Namine. I recognized it as the voice belonging to the silver-haired bassist in the band, Riku, and I gazed up at him in awe. He was a _lot _more handsome up close.

Riku placed an arm around Namine and raised a bottle of beer in his free hand. He eyed me with a pair of shocking aquamarine eyes that unsettled me almost as much as Roxas's eyes did.

"There's no need to fight," Riku said with a lazy smirk. "As much as I'd love to see it . . . I wouldn't want either of you two getting hurt."

Namine shot me a glare before she allowed Riku to lead her back into the house. I tried to follow, but Riku turned and held up a halting hand.

He gave me a charming smile.

"Maybe another time, doll," he said.

"But she's my ride!" I objected, desperation filling my eyes. I didn't want to get stuck out in the parking lot by myself, and especially not with a bunch of college-age boys.

Riku grinned wolfishly. "You have two legs; use them."

And as soon as the door shut in my face, I felt such a strong distaste for Namine that I swear I could feel my body temperature rising by the second. I wanted to claw her eyes out. I wanted to rip all of that bleached blonde hair out of her head. I wanted to yank her stupid-ass nose piercing out so that the blood fell in a crimson stream against her porcelain skin.

In short, I was terrified.

My throat burned, and the corners of my eyes began to prickle. I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth in the hopes of stopping the tears from coming, and I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket. I hated the stupid thing, and more often than not, I preferred not to use it, but in dire situations like these, I had to get over my distaste for the infernal touch screen.

I called Larxene, but she didn't answer. After that, I called a couple of acquaintances from school, but they, too, didn't answer their phones. When I finally realized that I was going to have to call my mother and father, so that they could send the limousine, I started to panic. If they found out that I had gone to a college party when I had informed the head maid that I would come straight home after the show, then I'd be grounded into next year.

I held my phone close to my chest and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears slipping down my cheeks, and I just knew that I was in trouble. I hated this kind of stuff; I would much rather have been underneath my willow tree over about ninety-nine percent of my time.

I jumped as a hand rested itself heavily on my shoulder, and I stumbled forward, away from whoever it was.

"Jeez, calm the fuck down! It's just me . . ."

"Roxas," I breathed, wiping my eyes quickly so that he wouldn't see my weakness.

His eyes narrowed as they searched my face.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern painting his striking features. "Do you need a ride home, or something?"

I grimaced, knowing that taking up Roxas's offer would be a huge risk. It was obvious that he was interested in me, what with the kiss we'd almost shared. I, however, wasn't about to prove Namine right and have sex for the first time with him right after I met him. I felt conflicted, but in the end, I knew that I wanted to get home without getting in trouble.

"O-Okay," I agreed shakily.

He smiled, and it was a smile as disarming as Riku's.

"Great," he said, sounding almost relieved. "Just let me bring my car around."

While I waited for Roxas to get his car, I found myself thinking about how strange the night had been. I was angry with Namine for bringing me here, fighting with me, insulting me, and then leaving me to fend for myself. On the contrary, though, I was happy that I'd come because if I hadn't, I never would have gotten the chance to meet Roxas. I smiled softly to myself, and felt a small thrill burst in my heart.

I had almost had my first kiss that night!

I blushed and squealed, jumping excitedly from one foot to the other. I was still dancing, in fact, when Roxas zoomed up in a beat-up old pick-up truck that was the color of Native American flesh. I stared at it with a mixture of disgust and amusement plastered all over my face, and I climbed into the car.

Roxas was blasting Suicide Silence, but he turned it down a bit as soon as we pulled out of the apartment complex's parking lot. As we drove, it was silent in the car at first. Uncomfortable yet . . . Comfortable. It was an odd feeling to experience.

Finally, I broke the silence.

"So . . ." I smiled in the darkness of the car.

"So . . ." he said, smiling back.

"It would seem that this is the second time you've helped a sista out," I said in a serious tone, though the 'sista' was more of a joke.

I shrieked in terror and slammed against my seatbelt as Roxas stepped down hard on the brakes and his truck screeched to a halt. I glared at him, placing a hand over my heaving chest as I struggled to calm down.

"What the Hell?" I shouted angrily.

Roxas grinned mischievously and said, "Well, excuse me, but I wasn't aware that you were black. I don't help negroes. Get out."

I stared at him in incredulity for a long moment as the silence dragged between us like a heavy wool rug. And all along, Suicide Silence blasted their Devil-music from the speakers.

He reached over me and placed his hand on the door handle. He pulled it outward and pushed the car door open. Behind us, cars were angrily honking, zooming past us with teens and adults alike all raising their middle fingers at us.

"I said, get to the gettin', and _get out_," Roxas finally said, as serious as can be.

I blinked, speechless, and trying not to laugh in astonishment. I was partly shocked that he was actually trying to kick me out of the car in the middle of the road for saying 'sista', and partly amused at his word choice.

After another uncomfortable moment of quiet, I placed one foot outside of the truck and prepared to slide down. I was stopped, however, by raucous laughter coming out of Roxas's mouth. I turned, my elbow-length hair whipping about my torso, and was surprised to see him bent over the steering wheel. He was laughing without stopping, as if somebody was going to stab him repeatedly in the scrotum if he stopped.

"Get . . . Hahaha . . . Get back . . . Oh, my God . . ." he hooted, slapping the wheel. "Get back in the . . . Hahaha . . . The fucking . . . The fucking car. Hahahahahaa. Get back in, Xion."

I slowly climbed back into the truck and shut the door in the same fashion, turning to face him in my seat with a _very_ irritated, _very _confused look on my face. He just looked back at me, his azure eyes shimmering with tears of mirth, laughing all the while.

"What . . . Was that?" I demanded, leaning over and pressing the 'pause' button on the CD player to stop the music.

His laughter subsided into occasional snickers and he said, "I'm glad we've come to an agreement."

After pressing the 'play' button on the stereo, he started driving again.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? I know this chapter is long, but I know most people like long chapters. If you think it's much too long, I'll definitely shorten it. So, review, favorite, alert, or whatever you see fit! *^^* Until next tiiiiiime~~**


	2. With Ears to See, and Eyes to Hear

**Title: Inextinguishable**

**Author:**** Mariah Kincaid**

**Summary:**** "I shall open my burning heart to you, digest you till my stomach turns, and walk to heaven at the earth's end. One sun, one moon." A tale of love, secrets, rage, and betrayal. Based on a 1916 Korean poem titled "April" by Pak Tu-Jin. RoxasxXion.**

**Rating:**** It's rated T for now, but the rating WILL go up.**

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**::Author's Note::**

**(The song used in the last chapter, that Roxas sang, was called _With Ears to See, and Eyes to Hear _by, of course, Sleeping with Sirens)**

**Right, so I got only one review. =.= Of course, that reviewer gets cookies and also wins one full hour with Roxas in a closed room to do with him what she will. =] If it's a he, then he wins one full hour with Xion. Of course, if you even think about touching Xion, Roxas will destroy the fuck out of you. :D**

**Anyway, so here's the second chapter! I mostly am trying to make this story BETTER than Love Must Come, because in LMC, I rushed the romance. In this one, they're going to FALL IN LOVE, not just love. It may seem like Xion is already in love with Roxas at times, but she's not. She just feels extremely strong feelings for him because he's the first person to show her affection and caring since Ayumi. I'm sure you understand, though. :D**

**Enjoy!**

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//**I will fall asleep**\\

When I got home that night, my anger at Namine was long forgotten. In fact, I was in such high spirits that I was actually singing so loudly that my voice echoed around the mansion's entryway. I ran straight up to my room to change into a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a maroon V-neck, grab my notebook, and then I headed out back to the willow tree.

I peeled aside the branches of the tree and sat down in the grass, opening the yellow Pinkfoot notebook that I had bought on a past trip to Korea. It was super cute, with a little Korean girl winking on the front cover. Most of the pages were filled with my thoughts (written in my native language of Korean, of course); the wild and crazy drabbles that flitted through my mind daily. Nobody knew that I had a diary--not even Namine--and I never wrote in it unless it was underneath the safe embrace of the willow tree.

I leaned back against the trunk of the tree and wrote down everything that Roxas resembled to me. I usually did this whenever I first met a person, and then again after we got close. It was interesting to see how my view of the people in my life changed over the months and years.

There was a loud slam, and a few seconds later, my little Japanese chambermaid burst through the curtain of branches. Her eyes were wild, one hand was holding her skirt up out of the grass and her other hand was holding onto her messy bun, which was dangerously close to tumbling down.

"Hyung-_sama_!" she cried, using my last name to show respect.

I set my pencil down and frowned. "What's wrong, Ayumi-_chan_?" I answered her in Japanese, knowing that she preferred to use Japanese when speaking with me.

She gulped, trying to wet her throat, and answered, "Your father is livid with you! He's searching for you. If you do not want him to find you beneath this tree, you had better go back inside!"

I sprung to my feet, and we both ran back to the house. My parents didn't know about the willow tree. I mean, they knew it was there, but they had no idea that I snuck out every night to sit underneath it and think. If they knew, they'd freak out and say it was too "dirty and unbecoming."

Ayumi helped wipe the dirt off of my clothes and fix my hair, and then pushed me out of the kitchen. I tried to catch my breath, answering my mother's shrill cry asking where I was.

I walked calmly into the living room, where both of my parents stood. My father's hands were on his hips, his almond-shaped eyes narrowed with anger. My mother stood next to the couch, her waist-length black hair worn up into a sleek ponytail. They both were dressed nicely, so I knew that they had just come home from a party.

"What are you _wearing_?" my mother sneered, looking absolutely appalled at my appearance.

I self-consciously touched my hair and bowed my head in apology.

"You know better than to walk around our house looking so . . . _Unkempt_," she snarled. "Go upstairs and change."

I made as if to leave, but my father held up a hand and shouted at me in Korean to stop walking. I halted in my tracks and turned back around to face him, guilt shining in my eyes.

"What's more important right now is the fact that when your _oma _and I left, we dictated to you that you were _not _to be out for all hours of the night."

I wanted to argue with him, and tell him that it was only ten PM, but I knew better than to talk back to my father. If I wanted to earn a slap across the face, then I could, by all means, go ahead and speak my mind. However, I didn't want that, so I remained silent.

My father ran his hands backward through his long black hair, of which fell across his eyes in a boyish way. His eyes glittered dark brown with anger.

"How many times have we told you that you're the daughter of a movie star and a supermodel? How many times until it gets through your head? If anyone would have recognized you, then it would have been all over the news. And what were you doing?"

I opened my mouth and told the whole truth, and nothing but.

My father exploded.

"_A party_? _A college party_? And you got a ride home from a _college boy_?" He started to pace, and I shrunk in on myself. He only paced when he was so enraged that he couldn't even think straight. I knew for sure that grounding was sure to follow whatever he said next.

"Do you know what could have happened?" my mother hissed in her broken up, accented English. She must have been incensed, too, because she only spoke in English to me when she was _really _mad. "Do you know what that boy could have _done_ to your innocence?"

I protested, feeling somewhat frightened that they were going to tell me I could never see Roxas again.

"Roxas isn't _like_ that--"

"Silence!" my father roared. He faced away from me and pointed to the hall that led to the front entryway.

I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears of shame that threatened to fall.

"You're grounded for the entirety of next week," he said quietly.

Half of me sighed in relief--Roxas and I could still see each other. The other half, however, was dismayed. Next week was another show Namine and I had been looking forward to going to. Now, we couldn't go together.

I turned to go, but felt my mother's slender hand on my arm. I turned, and was shocked to feel the sting of her hand against my face. When I looked up into her eyes, I saw nothing but disgust.

"And that boy? If he _ever _comes near you, or even to our house, you _will _regret it."

Before my parents could see me crying, I left the room.

//**I'll close my eyes**\\

_It all started when I was nine._

_He kept telling me that I was special, and that I was the "prettiest girl in all of Japan __**and**__ Korea." As cheesy as it sounds, I was the flower to his bumblebee. He made me so happy. He'd take me out for lunch, dinner, and even dessert sometimes. He'd wrap me up in gorgeous dresses, take me to get my hair done up in the most stylish fashions, and generally just make me feel like I had a place in the world. After all, my parents were always working--if my mother wasn't walking in a fashion show, then my father was at a premiere party. I was lost; I didn't know who I was, nor what I wanted. I mean, I was only nine years old. So when he came into my life, swept me off of my feet, and brought me into the light, what was I supposed to do? Turn the affection and the attention away?_

_When I was eleven, it happened._

_I didn't know what to do. I had absolutely no idea what had happened, in the first place, and secondly, I was just a confused little girl. I yearned for the fancy gifts and adoration as much as I hated the rough touch of his hands. Every time I saw him, it was with mixed feelings. Was this time about the gifts? Or was it about the lust? I never knew what he wanted anymore; the urge came upon him so swiftly._

_The years wore on, and when I was thirteen, it all came to a head._

_It was my birthday. My parents had promised to throw me a huge party with all of my friends at our Tokyo penthouse. I was so excited. He took me to get a new dress before the party started and then bought me a cup of sweet ice with my favorite flavoring--cherry. Then, he suggested that we take a shortcut home. Being so young and caught up in a whirlwind of elation, I followed him blindly into the dark._

_It was the biggest mistake that I had ever made, and I'd regretted it ever since._

_By the time I'd stumbled to the street in a drunken stupor, naked to the world, blood was trickling in a steady stream down my legs, matching my tears in speed. I sobbed for somebody to help me, and immediately a group of passing teenage girls rushed to my aid. Everything seemed to blend into itself after that. I felt like I was adrift in the center of a fast-moving river of pain, and that people were pushing me along as if to get me somewhere, even though there was nowhere to go. It seemed like everyone was blaming me for what had been going on right underneath their noses for the past four years. My parents seemed to detest me; my friends appeared disgusted. I had nobody._

_Until I discovered the Lord._

_As soon as I opened my heart to Him, it was like a whole new world opened up to me. It suddenly became easier to deal with the shunning, the disgust, the guilt and the shame. Sure, the wound my older brother had left upon my soul would never heal, but at least now I knew that I was special all on my own without having to do something extra. God would give me gifts without me having to give Him anything in return. _

_I finally felt . . . Loved._

_When my father received the news that his next movie would be taking place in America, we packed up to move almost instantly. Apparently, there was a house that had been in my father's side of the family ever since Koreans first started to migrate to America. We left amidst tears from my parents' friends, and cheers from my father and mothers' fans as we boarded the plane. And as I turned to wave like the proper Korean-Japanese daughter I was, I felt scared and excited, all at once._

My eyelids snapped open and I rolled to my right in my bed. Ayumi froze in place, scared from my sudden awakening. She was in the midst of the mounds of dirty laundry that I constantly tossed onto the floor, attempting to do some damage control.

The twenty-year-old maid grinned widely at me. "You need to do something about your mess, Hyung-_sama_."

I stretched my body out and yawned, smacking my lips as I grinned back.

"But that's what you're for, Ayumi-_chan_!" I said brightly, prompting the young maid to throw my clothes for the day at me. I scowled--Ayumi knew that I hated it when she chose my outfit; it made me feel like a two-year-old--and prepared to get dressed.

I pulled the black sundress on over my head, slipped into my all-black Vans, and headed for the bathroom to put on some mascara. I flipped on the switch and stopped dead in my tracks, staring in wide-eyed horror at the girl staring back at me in the mirror.

I raised a shaky hand to my cheek, where a long, thin bruise had purpled. It hurt to even brush my fingers across it, and my hand jumped away from my skin almost as if it were hot. The corners of my lips began to tremble and my eyes stung with the beginning forms of tears. It had been extremely difficult, ever since my older brother violated me, and believe it or not, it actually hurt my heart when my mother looked at me the way she did--when she hurt me so deeply. I lowered my head and struggled to fight back the sobs as Ayumi rushed in to see what was the matter.

"Hyung-_sama_!" she gasped. She wrapped her arms around me, for she knew exactly what was going on. She had been one of the teenage girls that helped me, all those years ago. If there was one person in the whole wide world that I could tell anything to besides God, it was Ayumi.

I completely let go and wept into her chest, and Ayumi gasped again. Even though she had been with me for so long that these random bouts of crying weren't abnormal, it still had to have been sudden.

Then, I began to talk. I spilled everything to her--from my fight with Namine to meeting Roxas to going to a college party. Ayumi nodded, listening with concerned, narrowed eyes.

"And your _okaasan_ said that you couldn't see him anymore?" Ayumi asked me with a brow furrowed in concern.

I nodded and wiped my tears away gingerly, careful of my bruise.

"For some reason, that's the thing that bothers me the most," I told her. "And I don't know why."

Ayumi fixed me with a stern look. "It's called infatuation, Hyung-_sama_. Now, let's get that bruise covered up, and then I'll walk with you to school."

//**and dream of days**\\

I turned on the sidewalk and waved at Ayumi, who was across the street. She waved back enthusiastically, called to me that she'd text me when she could, and walked away. I smiled fondly after my closest, dearest friend, and turned to face my school.

School was very . . . Weird for me. Sometimes, it was fun, like when Namine was around. But whenever Namine and I were in a fight, the days until we made up were unbearable. It was like all of my defense shields went down, and I was the scared, desecrated thirteen-year-old again. It seemed like the people at my school preyed upon my insecurities and relished in my distress.

As I walked up the crowded steps, I was shoved none-too-gently by a few fellow Seniors who I knew didn't like me, and finally made it to the front doors. I was about to congratulate myself on actually _not_ getting pushed back down the stairs, when all-of-the-sudden, the bane of my existence stepped out from behind his locker just inside the entrance to the school. He was already smirking at me, almost as if he'd known that I was coming up the stairs.

All of the color drained from my face and I stepped backward as he came toward me slowly and stealthily. My back hit the glass door, and I reached behind me, scrambling to push it back open—anything to get away from this guy.

"Hey, hey, hey," he suddenly said, placing his hand over my own, so that my arms were pretty much constricted behind my back and our chests were touching. I gazed up into his shockingly aquamarine irises, feeling fear curling in the pit of my stomach, ricocheting throughout my body.

He smirked again and stated, "You're shaking."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head. I could feel eyes on us coming from all sides, and I only felt angry and distressed. I couldn't understand why nobody was helping me. But then I remembered--Namine was mad at me; I was screwed.

"Leave me alone, Zexion," I spat out through tightly clenched teeth. "I just want to go to class."

His hand curled around mine and he seemed to pull me closer to him.

"Why? I could take you somewhere where we can do something _way_ more fun . . ."

My eyes seemed to widen in stages and I struggled against his hold a little bit, testing his strength. His grip was vicelike, however, so I felt dismay. I remembered the tight hold that my brother had held on me, and it was almost unbearable. I was close to hyperventilating—my pulse raced with terror.

But then, like a ray of shining light, God stepped in to help me.

Zexion was violently ripped away from me from behind, and tossed into a locker rather easily. A few of his friends came up to help him, laughing mockingly all the while, and glaring at me.

I, in turn, smiled in relief at my savior.

"Thanks, Namine, Larxene," I said gratefully, cautiously. I didn't know if she was still mad about last night.

Larxene yawned. "No problem, chink," she said in a somewhat bored tone, using her rather strange nickname for me.

I glanced at Namine, then promptly averted my eyes in slight embarrassment. "Listen . . ." I started.

"No, it's okay," she said brusquely, her smile seeming a bit _too _cheery. She waved a dismissive hand, and shot dagger-looks at all of the students who had gathered to watch me be harassed by Zexion. They seemed to move at once, resuming their natural pattern of things, and knowing better than to get on Larxene _and _Namine's bad sides.

"Let's get to class," Namine said, linking her arm through mine.

The day wore on as most days usually did. My fight with Namine seemed to have been completely forgotten, and Larxene and I were getting along pretty well. Usually, she kept more to herself, and when she did talk, it was to Namine.

Sometime during the end of lunch, Namine, Larxene, and I headed for the cafeteria bathroom. Namine immediately began checking her loose blonde waves, which she claimed to have spent two hours on this morning; Larxene moved straight for the nearest stall, mumbling something about "dropping timber," dancing from one foot to the other; I stood next to Namine, my shimmering cerulean eyes traveling down my body in the mirror, from my head to my waist. I reached up and ruffled the layers of my extremely long hair, liking the length and the shine that it possessed. But of course, my eyes were then drawn immediately to the bruise I had attempted to cover up earlier that morning. It wasn't totally invisible, but nobody had said anything, so I figured that it was all right.

I saw that Namine was looking at me in the mirror with those small, piercing baby blues and I instinctively raised my hands to my cheeks. Had she seen the bruise?

"You don't even know how pretty you are, do you?" she hissed. "You just go around, acting all naïve so that you can claim that boys don't like you. It's so fucking annoying."

I took a step back by default, shocked at the amount of venom that was tightly interwoven in her tone. When I turned to look her dead in the eyes, rather than the eyes of her reflection, there seemed to be the fires of hatred burning icy blue within them. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to find the words. I didn't understand—was Namine mad at me, or what?

Then, as if a heavy silk curtain had been lifted, Namine giggled and the anger left her eyes all at once. I placed a hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"A joke?" I gasped in a choked whisper.

She nodded, still laughing. "A joke," she confirmed.

Larxene came out of the stall, waving her hand in front of her nose.

"Shit, that _stinks_," she said.

Namine and I exchanged glances. Leave it to Larxene to be the _true _naïve one.

"What?" Larxene asked innocently, placing her hands upon her hips. "You guys are just jealous because my poop smells better than yours. It's more . . . Fragrant. It's more of a perfume, rather than a bad scent."

Namine and I's faces screwed up in disgust and we watched in astonishment as Larxene turned her nose up into the air and marched—yes, _marched_—out of the bathroom.

Namine's voice finally broke the silence, seeming to echo in the tiled bathroom. "Can we ever hope to understand her?"

I snorted, "Psh. No."

Namine shrugged. "Oh, well. Let's get back out to our fans, shall we?"

I protested to the theory that we had "fans," per se, and followed Namine's petite form back out into the cafeteria.

//**when I wasn't all alone**\\

I leaned back in my seat, eager to be done with Advisory. Usually, I was excited to be there, seeing as it was a class created by the school board to give creative students a place to exercise their imaginative minds—an outlet for the abnormal, you could say. It was off campus, and somewhat like an AP class: you were basically attending a college class at the community college. My parents had forbidden me from joining the class, claiming that everyone there was too old for me to be hanging out with. That was a couple of months ago, right before my birthday, and now that I was seventeen, I felt within myself the right to take a college class if I felt like taking one.

I yawned and winced as my bruise throbbed in pain. It had gotten very tender, and people had started to notice. I felt their eyes on me, heard their words being whispered, and it only served to distress me. Needless to say, by the time Advisory rolled around at the end of my school day today(four classes, first block through fourth, which was just right after lunch), I was ready to go home.

Soon, the class filled up with college and high school students alike. The majority of the high schoolers came from other schools, so I at least didn't have to feel the judging eyes of the kids from _my _school upon me _all_ day. I even saw some new faces—today was the start of the new quarter—and many of the faces actually smiled at me. I sat in the back at a table by myself, so I was able to view everyone easily from behind.

The teacher walked in about a half of a minute before the bell to begin class rang, and she immediately set about taping a giant sheet of blank paper to the whiteboard up front. The class continued its dull chatter as she wrote a few things on the paper with a Sharpie marker, and in my pocket, my cell phone vibrated.

I glanced down at my phone to see that Ayumi had _finally _texted me just as the door to the class opened. I heard footsteps and a few chairs scooting out of the way, but I didn't look up.

I turned my phone to the side, watching as the entire screen did the same, and typed out a reply on the miniature keypad that appeared on the touchscreen. I was smiling at my witty reply when I saw a hand reach forward and pull the seat beside me out. I was partly shocked to see that someone had touched a seat next to me, and partly depressed because I assumed the person was just going to ask if he or she could take the chair to go to another table. Seriously, was I so unbecoming that nobody could try to be my friend, even in a college class? Were people scared of pin-thin Koreans and Japanese people with big willow leaf-shaped eyes? Well, if they were, then they had to be doubly scared since I was both.

"Can I sit here?"

A chill ran down my spine as my mind and body recognized the boyish, slightly scratchy, somewhat high-pitched voice of the lead singer of Sleeping with Sirens. I couldn't believe that he was in the same class as me, let alone choosing to sit beside _me_, of all people. Today, he was wearing a pair of dark blue faded, ripped skinny jeans that I swear were the same size as my size 0 pants size, a gray V-neck, and a teal jacket with white drawstrings and a white zipper.

"Roxas!" I said happily in a loud whisper.

Roxas grinned and set a small black messenger bag on the table, taking a seat beside me and scooting his chair closer. I turned to say hello formally to him (and have an excuse to stare at his heavenly, gorgeous face), finding that he'd moved so close that our ears were almost touching when we faced forward. A blush the color of roses stained my cheeks and I looked away, hoping he didn't see my rather impromptu stare-fest.

Roxas chuckled and slid down in his seat so that he seemed to be shorter than me. I looked down at him, watching almost curiously as he fiddled with the balls on his lip rings.

"Do you know what happened on the way here?" he whispered just as the teacher began talking.

"What?" I answered, torn between listening to the teacher's instructions and whatever holy words were fallings like diamonds out of Roxas's lips.

"I—"

I accidentally cut Roxas off with a short, snorting laugh as a rather vivid visual of Roxas vomiting up diamonds rushed forward in my mind.

He stared at me with a confused smile on his face. "I wasn't aware that I was such a comedian . . . ?"

"No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said, waving my hands around and trying to stop my laughter from spilling forth. "What were you saying?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter," Roxas mumbled, staring forward.

"Yes, it does!" I protested, pushing his arm so that he wobbled a little bit in his seat.

"No, not really," he insisted, folding his arms over his chest.

I felt the panic settling over me, and I began to worry that I had made him angry. My palms started to sweat and I folded my hands in my lap, looking down at the tabletop. I felt the tears start to form, and knew that I was going to cry. Oh, how embarrassing. I hated myself so much in that moment that if I'd had a weapon, I probably would have stabbed myself repeatedly in the ovaries. I couldn't understand why I was so _freaking _annoying.

There was silence as the teacher droned on about some project or another, and I saw Roxas lean forward out of the corner of my eye. Arms still crossed, he tried to twist his head underneath the curtain of waist-length hair that my bent head created.

"Are you _crying_?" he asked quietly, his mouth quirking up into the smirking half-smile that only served to attract me to him even more.

My eyes widened and I jammed the back of my hand over my mouth in embarrassment. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to will the tears away. Honestly, I didn't even know why I was crying in the first place. Maybe it had something to do with my parents. Or maybe the ordeal with my brother. Could it even be the tension that was brewing between Namine and I? I knew I was probably just working myself up, but I was beginning to think that Roxas had the innate ability to undo me at the seams with just the slightest bit of concern in his tone.

"N-No . . ." I stammered, forcing myself to sound irritated. "I have . . . Allergies."

I turned my face away, looking out the window as I fought with myself over control of my emotions. Then, suddenly, I felt the touch of a finger, calloused from hours of guitar-playing, on my bruise. It was gentle—as if he knew the bruise was there.

"What happened to your face?" he asked in a mellifluous, quiet voice.

Apparently, he _could_ see it.

"It's nothing," I said abruptly, finally gaining control and wiping away the last traces of my inner struggle from my face. I then looked him dead in the eye, almost daring him to ask me about the bruise again.

Roxas stared back at me levelly, holding my gaze. It seemed that he, too, was challenging me to talk. I felt my throat go dry—I hated it when people stared at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Roxas's hand start to go up, and he touched my face again. I went rigid, wondering as to what he was doing. His eyes studied the wound on my face in an almost strange fascination as his fingertips traced first the outline of the bruise, followed by the outline of my entire face. I didn't realize that my breathing had gone shallow until his fingers started to trail down the side of my neck, and a warning bell rang in my head.

I caught his hand in a tight grip, gazing anxiously up into his innocent azure irises.

He grinned, seeming to like the helpless look that I was giving him, and turned back to face the front of the classroom.

He didn't remove his hand from my grasp—I dropped it a few minutes later after I realized that I was squeezing the life out of his slender fingers. I'd been so lost in my thoughts of what happened when I was a child . . . I hadn't wanted Roxas to touch me, yet at the same time I had.

And it scared me.

At the end of the class, I tuned into the teacher's words. She had mentioned a project earlier in the period, but now she was talking about partners. I sighed dejectedly, knowing that I probably wouldn't get asked to be anybody's partner. I felt a small glimmer of hope that Roxas might ask me, but it burned out as soon as I saw somebody a couple of tables ahead turning and pointing to Roxas before jokingly sending him a seductive smile and wink. Roxas laughed quietly, but made no movements.

The teacher's voice finally broke into my thoughts fully:

"Since this week's theme for our creative writing assignments was the history of music, I'd like you to get with a partner and create something musical. I'm really trying not to give you guys any boundaries here," she said, her long brown braid falling backward over her shoulder for the umpteenth time. She pulled it forward again, her emerald eyes twinkling.

"I want this to be as fun as possible for you. Just because you're all in college—and some of you are Seniors—doesn't mean you can't excite the kid in you every once in a while."

Elated chatting broke out around the room as Mrs. Strife stopped talking and allowed everyone to choose partners. She shuffled a few papers on her desk at the front of the room and grabbed a notebook off of the desktop, jotting a few things down on the piece of paper in front of her.

"All right, guys," she said as she taped the notebook paper onto the whiteboard next to the giant sheet of paper that was filled with all sorts of creative ideas for projects.

"What's that?" somebody asked.

"It's a sign-up sheet," Mrs. Strife answered. "Just go ahead and write yours and your partner's names down on the left column, and what you're going to do for your project in the right column. Remember: I'm going to be giving participation points for the day based on whether or not you signed this." She tapped the paper with her pen for emphasis. "Get to work," she then smiled, sitting down at her desk.

I started to get to my feet, planning to ask Mrs. Strife if it was okay that I worked alone, but Roxas's hand clamped around my small wrist halted me in my tracks. I felt my heart beat faster—was he going to ask me to be his partner?

"So . . ." he said, smirking at me as I slowly sank back down into my seat.

"Yes?" I asked, extremely eager to _finally _be getting a willing partner that hadn't been assigned to me.

Roxas opened his mouth. "Do you wanna—"

"_Roxxxxxxaaaaassssss_!" His friend from earlier waltzed up to the table, shot me a scrutinizing look, and then fixated his attention back on Roxas. It felt like a stab in the stomach. Was I uninteresting to look at?

"What's up, Xigbar?" Roxas seemed to sigh, though he smiled cheerily up at his friend.

Xigbar leaned over the front of our table, his corn-rowed braids and black eyepatch seeming a bit over-the-top for his rather modest outfit of a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a purple V-neck. I cocked my head to the side in bemusement at his mismatched look.

"Not much, dude, not much. How was the show last Friday night?"

"Pretty damn awesome," Roxas grinned, his eyes seeming to shine.

_'The look in his eyes . . .' _I thought in slight awe. _'It's like his whole face completely transformed . . . Is that because of his music?'_

Roxas cast me a quick glance, then said to Xigbar, "I met some pretty cool people."

I blushed. Could it be that he was he talking about me?

Xigbar didn't even look in my direction. "That's nice," he said quickly, like he didn't care. "But listen. Why don't you come sit over at my table and work with us?"

At his table sat a couple of other people—a heavyset boy with auburn hair and a lanky boy with white-blonde cropped hair and a small silver earring in his right ear. They stared back at me with indifference, and I shyly looked away.

"Um . . ." Roxas stammered, looking at me a couple of times. "I . . ."

I held in a sigh and busied myself opening my binder, the unmistaken feeling of rejection prodding at my heart.

_'What was I thinking?' _I thought sadly. _'He's way too gorgeous for me—not even on __**my**__ low level. Why would he ever want to be __**my**__ partner? Why would he ever sink so low—'_

"I'm working with Xion for this one, man," Roxas's voice rang clearly in my head, causing me to drop my pencil onto the table and watch silently as it rolled onto the floor. My hands were shaking, and I hoped dearly that nobody could see it.

". . . Sure thing," was all Xigbar said. "See you later, I guess."

I glanced up just as Xigbar left and met his eyes briefly. He looked bewildered and somewhat disappointed, but amidst the haze of mixed emotions rolling around in his eyes, one feeling stood out to me with the lucidity of the full moon on a clear, crisp winter night.

He looked amused.

I fought the urge to slam my head continually on the table and instead, succumbed to surprise and nervousness as Roxas placed his right hand on the table, directly on top of my left hand.

"Do you have some sort of disease?" he suddenly asked rather loudly, causing a few people to look at me and snicker.

A nervous titter escaped my lips, and I imagined my soul floating up to the ceiling in mortification.

"N-No . . . Wh-Why would you s-say th-that?" I stuttered, suddenly unable to find any proper pronunciation skills within my brain.

Roxas threw his head back and laughed. "Well, because you're fucking shaking and stammering like you've got Parkinson's Disease, or something! Seriously, what the fuck?"

I inhaled sharply, knowing that somehow, I needed to calm my nerves. I didn't want to give Roxas something _else_ to tease me about.

He smirked, a light flickering in his azure eyes. "So . . . What do you want to do for the project?"

I shrugged, my mouth feeling as dry as cotton.

"Let's write and perform a song with my band," Roxas said, as if it was the obvious answer. He sunk down into his chair again, twining his fingers behind his spiky-haired head. He looked up at me, and his bangs fell across his face, into his eyes in just the right way to make him look rather gorgeous. I gazed down at him, my wild imagination taking me on horseback to a scene of Roxas sparkling in the sunlight like Edward from Twilight.

Okay, ew.

I stabbed Edward in the face, laughing maniacally and watching him scream and writhe in pain. Then, I called upon Bella and forced her to watch as I ate his insides slowly, assuring her that he remained conscious and alive for the entire thing. As her sobs and wails reached the heavens of my head, I stood on a mountaintop and tossed Edward's lifeless corpse over the edge, squealing with delight as it tumbled like a flailing wet noodle all the way down to the snowy rock face below.

"Um . . . X-Xion?" Roxas's voice permeated my thoughts just barely. "You're . . . You're actually starting to scare me."

On my imagined mountain, I turned to see Roxas as a centaur, his hide as black as night, and the wind rustling through his razored, neck-length tresses. He stared down at me with glowing eyes and wings suddenly sprouted from his back, spewing feathers of midnight across the lands. The traditional Chinese music that had suddenly begun to play rose to a crescendo, and Roxas let loose a mighty roar that caused all of the birds of the forests to sing. I threw off my cloak and ran to him, my long hair flapping like a flag in the wind behind me, as naked as the day and leapt onto his back.

"FOR RIVENDELLLLLLL~" I hollered, pumping my fists into the air as Roxas—

"_XION_!"

I snapped out of my rather . . . Interesting thought trail and saw with a sickening feeling that I was standing up on my seat, my fists raised into the air. My jaw dropped and I looked around at my classmates, who were all staring at me as if I had just been possessed by a demon, or had sprouted three heads.

Mrs. Strife watched me warily from her desk, but said nothing.

"Just let me . . . Uhh . . . Get down from here . . ." I said meekly, slowly but surely climbing to the floor and lowering myself back into my seat. I was so embarrassed—I just wanted to sink into the tiles of the classroom floor, and never come back up. I swear, I had to be about as red as a tomato right at that moment.

The silence continued for the rest of the class after that, as if nobody dared to talk. Roxas just watched me with a strange expression on his face. It was unreadable, really, but I was choosing to assume what everybody else was probably thinking . . .

"That Korean chick is crazy," I heard someone hiss to their friends as I hurried past their desk on my way out of the classroom. The bell that signaled the end of the day continued to ring, and I felt as if each peal was jarring my bones.

I slowed on instinct, looking at them like an animal that was too frightened to move in the middle of the road because it had looked straight into the headlights of a car. I shyly held my long, sideswept bangs out of my eyes and looked down.

"No shit," the person's friend laughed. They glanced over their shoulders at me as they passed, sniggered, and hurried on.

I came to a halt and rubbed my arm modestly. Even though I endured this harassment daily, it was still difficult to get used to.

"It's jus' plain racism, is what is," an accented voice came from behind me.

I turned and immediately hid my face with one hand. "R-Roxas . . ." I said nervously.

He laughed and continued speaking in a country accent, "You know, I'm gettin' sick an' tard o' them stupid kids runnin' through mah cornfields."

I finally looked up at him, raising one eyebrow. "You have cornfields?"

Roxas slung an arm around my shoulders and led me across the sunny, grassy campus of the college.

"I'm really happy that we've come to an agreement," he said.

I tried to ask him what in the world he was talking about, but he whisked me out to the parking lot and helped me into his truck. My questions and words seemed to fall upon deaf ears, until they finally trickled into a small, incoherent stream of mumbling as Roxas pulled into the driveway at my house. He turned off the car, lounging back in his seat with one hand on the stick shift and the other hand on the top of the steering wheel. He tilted his head back and looked at me.

"Guess I'll see you later," he said.

I glanced down, and then smiled at him. "Um . . . Yes. But . . . Don't you think we should find a time to start working on our project?"

Roxas unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the car lightning fast, as if he were waiting for me to ask such a thing.

I, on the other hand, was having a mini-panic attack in the passenger's seat. My parents had told me specifically that that I was grounded, and that Roxas was notto come near the house. Yet here I was, blatantly disregarding their rules for my own benefit. It made me feel slightly sick to my stomach just thinking of what they would do if they found out.

I finally got out of the car when Roxas knocked on the window. He opened the door and placed his hands on my waist, helping me down. When my feet touched the concrete of our driveway, Roxas and I were so close that I could smell the tropical fruit gum on his breath. I looked up at him shyly through my eyelashes, and hoped that he would step away from me.

Roxas studied my face for a long moment before his hands left my waist and he moved to walk toward the front door, a small spring in his step that made me smile softly. He pulled up the hood of his teal jacket as I neared him, his bangs and the sides of his hair jutting out messily from the hem in an unkempt, "I-just-woke-up" sort of way.

"Are your parents home?" he asked me.

"Probabaly not," I replied as I stuck my house key in the front door and stepped into the grand entryway.

I motioned for him to follow me out back, and as soon as I put my foot on the grass, it was like all of my problems were gone—like they'd floated away on the wind. A small smile graced my features as I laid eyes on the willow tree. The sun was somewhat lowered in the sky, feeling warm against my skin as I walked toward the whispering branches that swayed gently in the breeze. Roxas called my name, but I pretended not to hear. Whenever I walked to my willow tree, I always demanded absolute silence.

I brushed aside a branch and stepped into the shade, casting Roxas a long look over my shoulder. I held the branches aside for him, and he watched me somewhat warily as he ducked underneath the bridge that my arm created.

As soon as I let the branches fall back into their original positions, it was like magic. I fell to my knees in the grass, directly in-between the furthest branch and the tree trunk, and I closed my eyes. Ahead of me, a few of the branches were shorter, giving me a wonderful, breathtaking view of the cliff. Roxas walked slowly over to the opening and placed his hands on his hips.

"Holy shit," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear as he surveyed the scenery.

I inhaled slowly, and then exhaled, feeling like nothing could touch me in this calm, peaceful state. I sent a small prayer up to God, thanking him for what he had given me, and asking him to keep a watchful eye on Roxas and I—to protect me. Then, I stood up and went to Roxas's side.

"Nobody . . ." I started, prompting him to tear his eyes away from the scenery and look at me. He did somewhat of a double take, and then continued to watch me almost as if I were part of the landscape as well.

"Nobody has ever been under here with me," I stated simply. I glanced up at him with narrow, thoughtful eyes, wondering why I had let him see my willow tree.

"It's beautiful," he said.

I closed my eyes and faced outward again, inhaling softly the scents that the wind carried.

"I know."

I sat down in the grass again, patting the ground beside me in a silent plea for him to sit. He did so, and we didn't speak for a long time.

"I like to come here whenever I have a lot of pent-up feelings and emotions," I eventually spoke, refusing to look at him. I had no idea why I was spilling my heart to Roxas; the words just kept tumbling out of my mouth like rainfall.

Roxas listened quietly as I explained to him without details the situation with my parents. He seemed fascinated with my words, because he was staring at my mouth the entire time. His eyes also followed every movement I made—when I shifted to find a more comfortable sitting position; when I ran my fingers through the long, soft mass of black hair that grew out of my head; when I scratched an itch on my arm or leg.

"To my mother and father, appearances are everything," I said softly as my tale came to its end. I looked down at the grass.

"Have you ever told them any of this?" Roxas asked me.

I ripped up a clump of grass absentmindedly, not knowing that I had been gripping it in the first place.

I scoffed. "Asian parents don't listen," was all I said.

As the quiet settled over us yet again, I reflected on my choice to bring Roxas to my tree. I wondered if it was just because I thought he was cute. I was beginning to think that there might be something wrong with my prioritites—I'd never even let Ayumi sit with me like this. And to tell Roxas my feelings like I was right then? It was unheard of for me to tell _anybody_ what was in my heart, unless I had complete trust in them.

How could I trust Roxas so whole-heartedly, and so fast?

Finally, I rose to my feet and dusted dirt and grass off of the backside of my black dress. I smiled down at Roxas.

"Sorry about my little emotional spiel," I said timidly, bowing at the waist to him. "Now, why don't we work on our project?"

Roxas opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it, and then smiled back.

"Mm," he agreed, and followed me over to the willow tree's trunk.

Over the next hour or so, I found that I enjoyed Roxas's company more so than anyone else's. He had this strange aura about him that intrigued me. I liked everything about him, such as the way his entire face lit up when he was talking about his music, and the way his azure eyes were always twinkling when he looked at me, even if he wasn't smiling. I liked the arrogance in his demeanor; the conceitedness in the way he lounged about in the grass. I noticed that he seemed to play with his lip rings a lot when he was nervous, if at all, and he blushed whenever he made me laugh.

"You don't like to sing?" Roxas asked me incredulously. "_Everybody_ likes to sing."

I shook my head, an amused smile sparkling on my face. "Not me," I assured him. "If anybody heard me singing, I'd be mortified."

Roxas leaned back on his elbows in the grass, smirking over at me.

"Sing something for me; I'll tell you if you're any good."

My heart skipped a beat in fear, and I frowned at him with wide, horrified eyes. There was no way on God's green Earth that I was going to sing for a boy that I'd just met. In fact, not even _Ayumi_ had heard me sing. The truth was that I _did_ like singing—I was just too nervous to let anyone hear.

"No," I said firmly.

"Please?"

"No."

"Aw, come on."

"No."

Roxas sat up, got on all fours, and crawled over to me. "Pleeeeeeeease?"

I stared at him levelly, holding his gaze. "No," I insisted.

"I'll bake you a cake."

"Nope. I don't like cake."

Roxas gasped in mock astonishment. "You don't like _cake_?"

I smiled mischievously. "I like sugar cookies with frosting. And that's it."

He smiled. "Then I'll make you some sugar cookies with frosting."

"Can you even bake?" I laughed.

He tossed his head to move his bangs out of his eyes. "Of course I can; I took four years of Culinary Arts in high school."

I laid my head back against the trunk of the willow tree and asked, "What was your favorite thing to cook?"

"Believe it or not, fried chicken."

I laughed. "I've actually . . . Never had fried chicken."

Roxas's eyebrows shot up. "You are just the most sheltered person I've ever met."

"But I'm not even _from _here!" I cried in protest, holding back laughter.

He sighed. "Oh, well all right. I'll let you off this time . . . If you let me take you out to lunch tomorrow."

I stifled a gasp of shock and avoided Roxas's gaze bashfully. I wondered with some exhilaration whether Roxas was asking me on a lunch _date_, or just out as friends. Part of me was terrified to go out alone with him, but I reminded myself that I had shown him the place that was the most special to me, and shared with him some of my insecurities. Not to mention, our conversation was constantly flowing and I felt more comfortable with him than I had expected.

"S-Sure . . ." I stammered.

Roxas chuckled in amusement and brought his knees up to his chest. He hugged them tightly and we locked eyes for a moment.

"I should get going," he said after a second. "It's getting dark; I wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

"Yeah," I said as we got to our feet.

Roxas rubbed the back of his neck as an almost awkward couple of seconds of quiet passed between us, before we both dissolved into soft laughter.

"All right," he said. "Well, thanks for showing me this place."

"Mm," I nodded, smiling gently and placing my hands behind my back.

Roxas lifted his eyes to mine and surprised me by slipping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me tightly. Then, he was gone, waving over his shoulder at me and disappearing around the side of the house.

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**A/N: Soooo? I hope the second chapter was as good as the first. Definitely really long, though. :o Oh well! Please review if you liked it. I'll see you for the third chapterrrrr! **


	3. You Kill Me in a Good Way

**Title: Inextinguishable**

**Author: Mariah Kincaid**

**Summary: "I shall open my burning heart to you, digest you till my stomach turns, and walk to heaven at the earth's end. One sun, one moon." A tale of love, secrets, rage, and betrayal. Based on a 1916 Korean poem titled "April" by Pak Tu-Jin. RoxasxXion.**

**Rating: It's rated T for now, but the rating WILL go up.**

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**::Author's Note::**

**(The song used in this chapter, that Roxas sings, is called _You Kill Me [in a Good Way] _by, of course, Sleeping with Sirens)**

**Sorry it took so logn for this chapter. You guys are gonna hate me when I tell you that it's been finished for like, three weeks now, I was just too lazy to post it. But now, since I'm graduating high school in like, a week, I'll definitely have plenty of time to write and post chappies~~ *^^* Anyway, here's the chapter! Enjoy~~**

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/**all that I know is gone**\\

As soon as the bell rang for lunch to begin, I gathered up my things and hurried over to the bathroom. My cell phone vibrated in the back left pocket of my light blue ripped skinny jeans, and I pulled it out.

**hey, i'm omw.**

I couldn't help but giggle and stick my tongue in-between my teeth. For some reason, I found Roxas's horrible grammar utterly adorable. I turned my phone to the side and quickly tapped out a reply.

**i'll be waiting, Mr. Tub-Tub~~**

I set the phone on the counter and turned my attention back to my hair. Today, I'd chosen to set it in loose waves, leaving my bangs straight and sweeping diagonally across my forehead. I wore a baby blue tank top and a long-sleeved dark blue top. The neckline was cut so that it hung off of my shoulders, revealing quite a bit of my creamy olive-toned skin. I wore a little bit of mascara, some rather cute curvy false eyelashes, and a light layer of pink lip gloss. I turned to the side, smiling yet again at the luxurious length of my hair, and prepared to leave the bathroom.

I skipped merrily down the hall toward the parking lot exit, not really paying attention to the looks people were giving me as I did so. To be honest, I didn't much care. My head was totally and completely in the clouds. I was beyond elated that Roxas was coming to my school to get me, let alone that he even _asked _me out to lunch in the first place.

What was weird, however, and almost enough to dampen my good spirits, was what had happened when I'd told Namine what I was doing for lunch that day. She had been smiling as she walked up to me, but the smile had faded as soon as I mentioned who was taking me out to lunch. An eerily blank look passed over her face and stayed there the entire time that I finished telling her what was going on, and her good-bye was somewhat toneless. I moved toward her to give her a hug, but she glanced off behind her, saw another friend, and rushed off with them. It was by no means abnormal behavior for her, though, because she and I tended to bicker a lot. The problem was that she was never quietly cold—Namine usually yelled to get her point across. _I _was the quiet one. I had no idea what it was that she was so pissed about, so I assumed she was mad because she had wanted to hang out with me, and went along my way to class.

As I came to the door, I froze with my palm flat on the glass, staring out at the parking lot. Directly in the center of the sidewalk, right in my way, stood Zexion and a throng of rather scruffy-looking boys. If I went out there, who _knew_ what would happen.

I placed a hand over my heart and clenched my fist in the fabric of my shirt, looking down and squeezing my eyes shut. I felt the coolness of the glass door against the skin on my left hand, and I tried to breathe calmly.

My phone vibrated.

**hey, i'm almost there. you waiting?**

'_Crap_ . . .' I thought in irritation. What was I supposed to do? My mind raced as I tried to come up with a solution to my imminent problem, and my head started to hurt.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" somebody said angrily, shoving me aside and rushing through the door with a group of friends.

I ignored them, and threw caution to the wind. After all, Roxas was almost there; I would be fine if I just skirted around their group and went to the entrance of the small parking lot. Zexion would never see me, and I'd be safe.

I smiled to myself, pleased with my quick thinking. Sometimes, I surprised even myself.

Pushing open the door, I went down the left side of the stairs and hurried across the grass, counting rapidly in my head to help keep myself calm. I placed my hand up as if to shield my face from the sun, hoping that Zexion didn't notice me. I heard him say something incoherent, and then all of his friends laughed. My feet hit the sidewalk, and I started to run. I felt a huge amount of pressure lift from my heart, and I had to refrain from pumping my fist into the air.

When I felt somebody grab my wrist from behind, I let loose a scream of terror and started kicking and punching outward, not really caring who I hit, nor where I hit them. I heard a grunt of pain, and the person growled.

"Are you always this violent? For fuck's sake."

The person let me go, and I stumbled backward, landing square on my rump on the concrete. I cried out in pain, and stared up into Zexion's curious blue eyes. He smirked down at me.

"Why were you running?"

"I . . . I have to g-go," I said, scrambling to my feet and making as if to go.

"Where are you going?" Zexion asked, slinging an arm around my shoulders from behind and holding me tightly against his chest.

"Just . . . I have to go," I insisted, digging my fingernails into his forearm, my eyes wildly searching for help. I heard Zexion's friends snickering behind me, as if they found my helplessness amusing.

Where was Roxas?

As if on cue, my cell phone began to ring in my pocket, and I reached to grab it. Zexion and I fought with it, and he accidentally pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" Roxas's voice sounded out loudly. "Xion?"

"Roxas!" I spluttered as Zexion held me in another chokehold. "Roxas, hel—"

"Xion, what the fuck?"

Zexion pressed the end button just as the word "fuck" left Roxas's lips, and he tossed the phone into the grass. He looked at me with pure fury in his eyes and threw me down.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he roared.

I shrunk away from him, shocked at how angry he was. I attempted to get to my feet, and Zexion grabbed the front of my shirt, yanking me the rest of the way.

"St-Stop!" I cried as he shook me.

He tossed his hair out of his eyes and laughed somewhat cruelly. His friends joined in, yelling a couple of jibes at me. They encircled me, pushing and shoving me this way and that, until I was on the verge of tears.

"Just let me go!" I wailed.

"Why should we?" Zexion sniggered, pushing me so hard that I fell against the front of one of his friends, who immediately wrapped his arms around my shoulders to stop me from getting away. I screamed in panic and clawed at his skin, my heart beating faster and faster. I couldn't see anything-I was starting to black out. Visions of my older brother's face flashes on and off in my mind, and it was bringing tears to my eyes.

Suddenly, like an angel sent straight from the Lord, I saw Roxas's truck zoom up onto the sidewalk, causing Zexion's friends to scatter and me to be let go. My knees trembled beneath me, and I collapsed in the grass, jamming my fingers into my hair and trying to catch my breath.

Roxas threw open his car door and jumped out without even turning the car off. Curious students from the courtyard who had seen his wild car ride into the parking lot started to gather and watch what was going on.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" Roxas roared at Zexion, promptly slinging a rather well-aimed punch into Zexion's nose.

The lanky boy tripped backward over his own two feet, clutching his now-bleeding nose. He cursed at Roxas, and then shot him a glare that was so fierce that it frightened even me. He clenched his fists and rushed at Roxas all at once. Gasping in horror, I arose and clasped my hands to my chest. Roxas became distracted as I called his name, and locked eyes with me. Inside the azure pools, I saw pure fury mixed with concern over me, and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't want this boy to get hurt, and especially not over me.

"Roxas, please!" I cried. "Don't fight!"

Zexion's wild punch to his jaw caught him off guard and he was tossed backward, smashing into the tight circle of students that were happily watching the fight ensue. I shrieked as Zexion turned on me and tangled his fingers into my hair.

"Stop!" I pleaded as he dragged me over to the sidewalk.

"You stupid bitch!" he roared hoarsely.

I screamed for the third time that day as he shoved me down and jammed his foot into my stomach. I curled in on myself as excruciating pain such as I had never felt before washed over my petite body. I felt my arm sting as he kicked me again, followed by my legs, and finally, my entire body ached. I rolled onto my side in an attempt to crawl away, but he only pulled me back, tearing at my hair and slamming his shoe into my body multiple times-I didn't know if I could handle much more.

"_Get_ . . . _The fuck _. . . _Away from her_!" I heard Roxas shout hoarsely, grabbing

Zexion by the silver hair from behind. Zexion yelped in pain as Roxas punched him in the ribcage repeatedly, almost hard enough to break a few bones. He threw him down and kicked him, just as Zexion had kicked me, and stomped on his wildly flailing arm.

Just then, somebody slammed open the glass door to the school and yelled, "_TEACHER'S COMING!_"

Everybody began to scatter, and Zexion's friends hurried forward to help the bleeding, broken boy to his feet.

"You'll regret this, bitch," he spat out to me. "I swear to God you'll regret this."

Roxas rushed forward, surprising Zexion's friends, and wrapped his right hand tightly around Zexion's throat.

"Fucking touch her again, and I will _destroy _the _fuck _out of you," he growled through clenched teeth, glaring at Zexion through his bangs.

One of Zexion's friends pushed Roxas away, eyeing him warily, and helped Zexion out of the vicinity. His friends followed closely, sneering at me and yelling a few threats, and suddenly, Roxas and I were alone.

I groaned in agony as I struggled up into a sitting position, one arm wrapped around my bruised, throbbing midsection. I felt Roxas's hands on my face and my arms, touching me all over to make sure nothing was broken. I looked up at him through a haze of pain, and coughed, a small smattering of blood hitting the concrete.

"We should get you to the hospital," Roxas said, his eyes widened with anxiety. "Come on."

"N-No . . ." I stammered, coughing meekly again. I placed a shaking hand on his chest and clasped myself closer to him, not really knowing why. For some reason . . . I just wanted him to hold me. I was still trembling with fear from the whole ordeal. I didn't want to know what would have happened if Roxas hadn't have come. I felt tears slip down my cheeks, and I placed my free hand over my mouth, trying my hardest to stifle my sobs.

"X-Xion . . ." he gasped, his arms instantly going around me. "Come on; please, just let me take you to the hospital."

I didn't move—I only continued to cry quietly in his arms, wishing that none of this had ever happened. I felt the warmth and affection coming from Roxas's body, and knew that one thing was for sure . . .

'_I never want to lose this feeling . . .' _My mind whispered. '_This feeling of security. He protected me, when nobody else would.'_

I huddled into his embrace, feeling his shock but choosing not to see it. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and it was a struggle trying to breathe. Every inhalation felt like the stab of a dagger to my ribcage. All of that didn't matter, though.

I felt a sense of peace that I knew nobody but God could give me.

'_Thank you_ . . .'

/**take what is left of me now**\\

The next few weeks dragged by in a pleasant sort of way. The project Roxas and I were supposed ot be working on somehow became obsolete, and he had taken to picking me up for lunch as often as he possibly could, much to Namine and Kairi's distastes. Even though I had a lot of fun with Roxas, I still felt somewhat guilty and lonely without my best friend texting me. To top that off, Zexion's harassments had only gotten worse since Roxas had stepped in. He and his friends would slam me up against walls and lockers whenever they could, or yell horrible things to me in the halls. One time, while walking home, Zexion and two friends had followed me the entire way, screaming sexual insults out of their car's windows at me. I hadn't told Roxas about any of this, and I didn't think that I ever would.

The words that Roxas had said the day of the fight were still freshly imprinted on my mind. I'd even written them down in my notebook.

"_Fucking touch her again, and I will destroy the fuck out of you."_

I hadn't expected Roxas to do something like that for me-to throw himself in harm's way to protect me. Nobody had ever done anything like that for me besides Namine and Ayumi, and especially not after we'd just met. It made me feel somewhat . . . Fuzzy inside, as cliché as it sounds, and I was very aware that I liked this boy.

Today was the day of Roxas's latest show. He had been talking about it excitedly for the entire week, and even though I was grounded, I'd promised him that I'd be there, especially since he'd told me that he was taking me to meet the band before they started playing. I knew that I was probably going to have to rely upon Ayumi and the rest of the maids to keep my secret for me, but there was _no way _that I was going to miss Roxas singing. His singing voice was beautiful-it was boyish and harmonious, just the way I liked it.

Roxas had texted me as soon as he had woken up, around noon or so, and I'd been waiting anxiously for it all day. Namine still wasn't talking to me, so I was virtually wandering alone all over the school in various attempts to avoid Zexion, lost within my thoughts. When I got the long-awaited text, the vibrating of my phone caused my heart to jump and a wide smile to spread across my face.

**hey, I'm omw to the school, little chicken. wait out back for me? **he had texted, using the nickname we had crafted for each other.

**did you just wake up, Mr. Tub-Tub? **I sent back, unable to keep the smile off. I loved the nickname.

**mmhm. :) **he replied. **shower time, maybe.**

**Awhh**,I answered, giggling aloud to myself. I could imagine Roxas after he'd just woken up, because he took me to school every day now. He usually woke up right before it was time for him to come and pick me up, so he would always come shirtless in his boxers, not giving two shits about what people thought. I was pretty sure people thought we were sleeping together, but I didn't care, because now whispers had begun that I was dating the lead singer of the town's most popular hardcore metal band.

Later, as I head out to the parking lot to meet him, Namine and I crossed paths. We exchanged quick glances, and Namine seemed to look distressed.

"Hey, Nam," I said tentatively. "Wh-What's up?"

"Nothing," she said abruptly, folding her arms over her chest.

"Oh, that's cool," I said slowly, adjusting my fuzzy pink pig backpack higher up on my back. "So, like, I guess I've been hanging out with Roxas a lot and-"

She cut me off. "Look, I'm running late for lunch with a friend. I'm going to have to see you later."

And with that, she sped off, not even sparing me a glance over her shoulder. I felt a rush of despair hit me like a punch to the gut, and I found myself struggling to fight back tears. I didn't know what I was doing wrong to make Namine so angry with me _this_ time, so what could I do? I felt helpless.

Turning, I walked the rest of the way out to the parking lot.

When I got out there, Roxas texted and said he was a couple minutes away. I hated that he texted while he was driving, yet at the same time, I found it oddly attractive. I had a horrible fear that he would die in a car crash, and just _knew _that if he did, it would be all my fault.

I looked down to make sure my clothes were wrinkle-free. That day, I'd worn a simple outfit: pleated blue-and-white miniskirt, thigh-high black socks, my all-black Vans, and an over-sized light pink sweatshirt with black drawstrings. My long hair was worn up into a messy, loose bun with my bangs sweeping across my forehead as usual. Pieces of my hair hung about all over the place, giving me a disheveled-yet-put-together appearance that was extremely popular in South Korea right now. I pulled out my pocket mirror and check my face in its reflective surface. I wore only long, curled false lashes today, just to make my eyes pop out a bit, and just some strawberry chapstick; nothing special.

When Roxas pulled up, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Namine and a gaggle of girls walk by. They were all the "super Scene" girls who were almost as skinny as me, but also extremely jealous, so they preferred talking shit about me rather than being friendly. They were at all of the shows for the most popular bands, and they just _loved _to brag about it. Their favorite band? Obviously Sleeping with Sirens, Roxas's band.

They stopped a small ways away as Roxas hopped out of the car and came around to greet me.

"Hey, little chicken," he grinned as he wrapped me up in a warm embrace that made my toes curl and my eyelids fall shut.

I looked him up and down. He looked rather hot today in a pair of tight black skinny jeans buckled low around his tiny hips with a pair of maroon boxers and a blue studded belt, a white V-neck, a black jacket with a white zipper, and all-white Vans. He'd exchanged his black hoop lip rings for two black studs, and he appeared to have the "natural bed-head" look to his dirty-blonde, choppy hair. He turned to look at Namine, giving me a perfect view of his extremely skinny frame.

"Hey, isn't that your best friend?" he asked, gesturing to her.

Namine glared at us and leaned closer to one of the "super Scene" girls, whispering something to her that made her sneer at me.

I sighed and tugged at Roxas's shirtsleeve.

"Let's just go, please?" I pleaded, gazing up at him with a frown on my lips.

"Is she mad at you, or something?" he asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

I just shook my head, refusing to look at him anymore. I insisted on leaving, and finally, he folded, opening the door to the truck for me, placing his hands on my small waist, and lifting me into the passenger's seat.

As we drove off, I couldn't help but look at Namine and her group in the rearview mirror with a wistful expression on my face. I tried to come up with a number of reasons why she could be angry with me, but I couldn't come up with a single one.

After I'd sighed for the third time, the somber silence finally got to Roxas. At the next red light, he turned to me and glared at me as if I'd done something wrong to him personally.

"You'd better tell me what's up, Xion," he demanded in a warning tone.

I blinked, knowing that he was being deadly serious. He almost _never _used my actual name, preferring to call me "little chicken," and whenever he did use my name, it was rare.

"Nothing," I insisted, not wanting to burden Roxas with my troubles.

"Come on, seriously?" he said. "I'm not dumb; I know you pretty well now, Xion."

"After just a week?" I mumbled. "I think not."

Before I knew it, Roxas had pulled off to the side of the road. He turned off the car, faced me, and pointed an angry finger in my direction.

"Xion, for Christ's sake! I'm not asking you because I want to pry into your fucking personal feelings; I'm genuinely worried about you. So pull your fucking head out the clouds, come down to Earth, and start letting me in," he shouted, his voice seeming to ring in the quiet car.

I stared at him in shock. Not only did I hate being yelled at, but the words coming out of Roxas's mouth were just plain hurtful. He didn't know what I'd been through-didn't know why I never let anyone in. Why did he think he had a right to my secrets? Why had he turned on me so quickly? I had thought that he wasn't like everybody else.

I felt the tears stinging at the edges of my vision, and, with one last fleeting glance, I was out of the car and running back down the road, toward the school. I stifled my sobs, unable to comprehend why nobody could understand me without having to read into every aspect of my life and personality.

I heard footsteps smacking against the ground, and Roxas grabbed my hand, yanking me around to face him.

"Xion, what the _fuck_? Like, I mean, seriously?"

"I started to put my trust in you . . ." I whispered. "How _could_ you?"

His eyes softened, the anger fading from them as swiftly as it had come.

I ripped away from him and turned to leave again. He caught me around the waist from behind.

"Don't go," he pleaded. "I'm . . . I'm sorry."

I shoved him away. "Don't _touch _me!" I screeched, suddenly feeling not Roxas's, but my brother's hands on my skin. I gasped for air as I tried to push the horrible memories away. Why were they troubling me so fiercely now, when they hadn't troubled me in a year or so?

"Xion, I'm sorry I yelled at you. Honest," he said, his voice sounding raw.

I stopped walking, facing away from him. It seemed as if everything had gone silent, and the only movement came from the wind playing through my long, long hair.

"You . . . You have no idea who I am . . ." I finally said, so softly that I wasn't sure that Roxas had even heard me.

He had.

"I want to know," he said in a breathless voice.

"It's not easy for me to trust so quickly," I continued, now talking more to myself than to him. I clenched my fists. "So why can I trust you?"

"I want you to trust me, Xion," Roxas said, and suddenly, his arms were wrapping themselves around me from behind, holding me gently.

My body shook as I cried, and Roxas didn't move. He didn't let me go, nor did he ask me the reason why I was crying. He just let me weep. I apologized profusely, until I didn't think I could apologize anymore. My knees collapsed beneath me, but Roxas held tight, lending me his strength.

When had it come to this? This weakness and this despair? How was it that Roxas could undo me with a simple sentence, and leave me sobbing in his arms? This, in fact, wasn't the first time that this had happened. Roxas and I never argued, per se, but we tended to get into these little situations. It would start with him crossing a line by asking me something too personal, memories of my elder brother bursting forth, me panicking, him freaking out and yelling, me running away, and then him chasing after me and apologizing until he had me crying in his arms.

"Come on," Roxas said after a bit, turning me around in his embrace and wiping my tears away swiftly with his thumbs. He cupped my head in his hands and smiled down at me gently. "Let's just go back to the car, okay? Then, we can talk about what's bothering you."

When we sat down in the car, it all came tumbling out before Roxas had even turned the keys in the ignition.

I told him all about Namine's strange behavior, and how angry she seemed to be at me. I told him about how it distressed me, seeing as she was my closest friend and I wanted nothing more than to make sure that she was happy.

Roxas sighed and reached over to grasp my hand.

"Okay, first of all, she isn't your _only_ friend, you know. I'm your friend; I'll be there for you."

I glanced away and sniffled, wiping the remnants of my tears off of my eyelashes.

"Second of all," he went on, "who gives a fuck what she thinks? If you're happy doing what you're doing, don't let her bring you down. She's just _trying_ to make you feel this way."

"No," I protested. "Namine wouldn't do that . . ."

Roxas sighed. "You'd be surprised what some people would do to get what they want."

I frowned thoughtfully and looked up into Roxas's eyes.

"What is it that she wants?"

He opened his mouth to speak. "I . . . I don't know."

With that, he turned back to the front and started up the car.

/**all that I know is gone**\\

When we got to the elementary school gym, I was still reeling from my daring—sort-of—escape. Ayumi and some of the other maids had successfully kept my parents busy while I got ready to go. Roxas had driven around the side of the mansion about two hours before the show was supposed to start, close to where the backyard began, near the willow tree. He'd waited just beneath my window for me to climb out, but of course, I had slipped on the sill, Ayumi had lost her grip on my hands, and I'd soared right into Roxas's arms.

At the school, Roxas came over to my side of the truck and prepared to help me down. Upon seeing my wild eyes and slight swaying, he laughed at me.

"Why are you doubting my supreme awesome-ness, little chicken?" he joked, placing his hands on my knees and leaning in toward me—Christ, he sure was tall.

I blinked somewhat owlishly and my face screwed up in confusion.

Roxas just shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Come on, little chicken," he sighed, helping me down. My knees knocked together and I almost collapsed, but he caught me with one arm wrapped around my lower back. I placed my palms flat on his chest and looked up at him, finally feeling the effects of my frightening fall wear off.

"S-Sorry . . ." I grimaced. "I'm just kinda . . . Afraid of heights." _And dizzy from being so near you; you smell so good, God dammit! _I added in my head as an afterthought.

He smiled, and I almost tumbled into dizziness once again.

"'Sokay," he shrugged, still holding me. "Just be glad I caught you."

He let me go and I wrung my hands in the hem of my lacy white babydoll mini-dress. The wind danced lightly across my shoulders, messing slightly with the loose waves I'd crafted out of my elbow-length, ink-black hair.

"Why do you look so nervous?" Roxas asked as he grabbed my hand. "Everyone's really excited to meet you."

"Yeah, but . . ." I stammered, looking down and trying to not to freak out about the fact that Roxas was going to hold my hand as we walked in to meet his friends. They were all going to think that we were dating. Was that a problem? _Hell no_! I was just a bit uneasy about what his friends were going to think about _me_. What if they thought I wasn't good enough to be with Roxas? Even though we weren't dating, I really did like him and if ever we did date, his band members' and friends' support would make me feel a lot better.

"But what?" Roxas asked, trying to bend his head down to look into my eyes.

I blushed and placed my free hand in a loose fist over my mouth. "Stoppit . . ." I whined.

"Why?" He grinned wolfishly and attempted to push his face into mine.

I bowed my head and tried to dance backward, giggling and laughing for him to quit it as he nuzzled my nose again and again. My heart began to race as I realized how close our lips repeatedly came to mashing together, and blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"Hey, you two," a familiar voice came from the doorway to the gym. "Quit acting like an old couple and come the fuck in here."

Roxas looked away from me and we both turned to see Axel and Larxene standing in the entryway, waving us closer.

"Wow, Axel. That's the most cliché line I think I've ever heard you use," Roxas laughed, keeping his fingers laced with mine and pulling me forward across the parking lot.

"I know," Axel snicked.

Larxene added, "And with the 'come the fuck in here' at the end, it was genius."

"We're so offended," Roxas sighed in mock despair. "Your foul language is appalling."

Roxas and I entered the gym with Larxene and Axel behind us. It seemed a lot bigger when there was less people in it. The equipment was about halfway set up, and a few small groups of random people were scattered all over the place. Roxas pointed everyone out to me, promised me he'd introduce me to those that were important, and then dashed off to use the restroom. I noticed Namine standing in the center of the gym with a pretty redheaded girl and Sora, the spiky-haired boy from the parking lot at the last show. She glanced my way, sent me an icy-cold glare, and then leaned over to the crimson-haired beauty to say something in her ear. The redhead watched me with narrow, almost wary eyes, and I wondered: what did she think of me?

"How was the escape, chink?" Larxene asked me as Axel followed Roxas. She folded her arms over her chest and popped her gum, her short blonde hair pulled back with a thin light pink headband. Her bright emerald eyes seemed to be glowing as she waited for my reply.

"Not much," I said. "Nami's still mad at me, isn't she?"

Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Look," she said in a tone more serious than I'd ever heard her use. "I'm really not into this whole drama thing—I'd prefer it if I was left out of it."

"Oh, okay . . ." I said, covering my face in embarrassment. Now, I probably had _another _friend mad at me . . .

Larxene let out another large sighed and she chucked me under the chin. "Don't worry about it, kid—I'm on your side in this. Just let things run their course; she'll shit out whatever stick is up her ass eventually."

I smiled up at Larxene, thankful for her somewhat kind-ish words and flashed her a thumbs up.

"I'll try to hang in there," I said just as Roxas returned.

Much to my surprise, he slipped his long, lean arms around me from behind and pulled me backward against his chest, pressing his lips against the skin in-between my neck and shoulder. It sent a strange chill down my spine—one that was as alien as it was pleasurable to me—and I turned to look up at him in shock. Why was he acting so weirdly affectionate? After all, we were just friends, weren't we? I knew I liked him, but . . . I was confused.

"What?" Roxas grinned, reaching after me like a child after its mother. He kept pulling me against him, and I could feel everyone's eyes on us. It was embarrassing yet not at the same time. Or maybe I was just modest.

"Everyone's looking at us . . ." I mumbled, placing my hands on either of my cheeks and trying to hide my blush.

Roxas just let out a short laugh before he grabbed my hand and pulled me around to meet everyone. Since I already knew Sora and Riku's names, their introductions didn't seem to stick with me too much, although I could swear I felt like Riku was staring a bit _too _intensely at me. Axel was as fiery as his hair, Yuffie was as spunky as she'd looked that night at the party when she'd handed me her drink, and Leon, the guy who'd been following her at said party, was as somber as his eyes told me he would be.

However, Kairi . . . Kairi was another story.

I felt the iciness that surrounded her as soon as Roxas turned me to face in her direction, and I almost didn't want to go over to where she and Namine were now standing. When we finally got over there, however, it seemed like the smile she gave Roxas was meant to dazzle all. She was taller than me, so I stood in-between them, looking up at her and up at Roxas, trying to decipher the odd look they were exchanging.

Could it be . . . That they were . . . _Dating?_

I felt sort of sick to my stomach, and hardly noticed the redhead introducing herself as Kairi. I immediately started sizing myself up to her.

Kairi was tall at about five feet and nine inches with a set of toned, lean, miles-long legs that she was effectively showing off in a pair of four-inch black platforms and a metallic-silver minidress that hung off of one shoulder. Her crimson red hair was sleek and thick, hanging to her lower back in a sheen of liquid ruby. Her neck was long, as were her arms, and the tone of the skin on her heart-shaped face seemed to be perfectly offset by the shining blue of her big, round eyes.

In short, she was _gorgeous_.

I felt my inner self going into a huge, thick shell. I was short, scrawny, had small breasts, and weird-shaped eyes. Asians were so strange next to all these American girls with their curves and their height and their . . . Their _beauty_.

"So, I'm gonna go start practice," Roxas said. "And I'll let you two get to know each other."

Roxas patted me on the head before he jogged across the gym to the band equipment and started chatting amiably with his bandmates and friends.

I turned back to Kairi, preparing to put on a smile, but was only half-surprised to see her glaring at me with the same burning consistency of the color of her hair. I took a step back as she jabbed her forefinger into my chest.

"Look, you little bitch," she snarled. "Roxas belongs to _me_, and he always has, always will. So you might as well not get too comfortable around him."

"You . . . You're dating?" I choked out fearfully, my eyes wide and questioning.

Kairi stood back with her hands on her curvaceous hips and her smoldering eyes swept up and down my thin, petite body. She was inspecting me, making me feel like a bug under a microscope, and I hated it. I felt like I would never and could never live up to her expectations.

"Of course we are," she sniffed, looking down her nose at me. "We have been for two years."

It hit me suddenly, almost like a two ton bag of bricks to the heart. All of the time Roxas had been spending with me, all of the hugs and the kind words and the secret glances. I held in a gasp as tears filled my eyes and I tried to make sense of the world. It felt like my entire being had been ripped apart-me and trust were _not_ friends, so when I put my trust in him, that meant that he wasn't supposed to be leading me on for some unknown, random reason. I already had so many things piled up on top of me; I didn't need another.

I saw Kairi smirk before I sunk to my knees on the floor and placed my hands flat on the glazed wood of the gym floor. Behind me, the sounds of Roxas's band began to play. I felt my hands clenched into fists as Roxas's beautiful voice began to sound out, almost tempting me, lying to me with a voice of velvet poison.

"_Come on, be strong_," he sang in that heavenly tone of his. "_Your mind has gotten the best of you. You've done enough, and you are enough. Fall asleep toniiii-iii-iiight._"

I heard the click-clacking of two pairs of heels, and suddenly, Kairi and Namine were standing before me. I looked up, tears staining my cheeks, and gazed directly into Namine's eyes, pleading silently with her to forgive me so that I could have some sort of semblance of friendship and trust in my life.

The bleached blonde girl gave me a small, hollow-eyed smile, and I knew then that she wasn't going to give me what I wanted.

"Falling for someone who could never fall for you . . ." she cooed in an almost motherly voice. "Idiotic."

I glowered at her indignantly. "I am _not_ an idiot!" My horrible English was coming out, and it only made me feel even more embarrassed.

Namine abruptly stood up and walked away, and Kairi quickly followed her, saying one last thing over her shoulder:

"Roxas is mine, whether you like it or not, honey."

As I slipped out of the gym, I heard Roxas's lyrics as clearly as if he were singing softly into my ear in a dead silent room.

"_I'll hold you close, and show you you're not broooookeeeennnnn!_" His lyrics, and the way he sang them, seemed to drop off into a precipice, and I stopped, preparing to turn back around. But as soon as the chorus resumed, I knew I needed to get some air and recollect my thoughts. I left the gym and, as soon as the gym doors shut behind me, dissolved into tears against the wall.

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**A/N: Whoot so tharr it is. There shouldn't be any mistakes because I'm fabulous. Kbai.**


	4. Let Love Bleed Red

**Title: Inextinguishable**

**Author: Mariah Kincaid**

**Summary: "I shall open my burning heart to you, digest you till my stomach turns, and walk to heaven at the earth's end. One sun, one moon." A tale of love, secrets, rage, and betrayal. Based on a 1916 Korean poem titled "April" by Pak Tu-Jin. RoxasxXion.**

**Rating: It's rated high T because of the heavily limey goodness in this chapter. :]  
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**::Author's Note::**

**(The song used in this chapter, that Roxas sings, is called _Let Love Bleed Red _by, of course, Sleeping with Sirens)**

**I just graduated high school today. :3 Well, technically I graduated Tuesday, but the ceremony where we got our diplomas was today. Whoot! Anyway, in celebration, I decided to make Roxas and Xion get "together" in this chapter. Well, I had already planned on making this story about their relationship strengthening throughout the storyline, rather than having them fall in love as friends and THEN get together. I wanted it to be more realistic. Anyway, you guys will REALLY like this chapter.

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/**take what is left of me**\\

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

A swingset is only capable of two movements: backward . . . And forward.

Was I like the swingset, only capable of two things? Being hurt and being taken advantage of? Did I have no other purposes besides the two? I couldn't understand why it was so easy for people to treat me the way they did, and most of all, Roxas.

I closed my eyes and stopped swinging momentarily, tilting my face up to the sky. Attempting to calm myself was always a hassle, especially when I wasn't underneath my willow tree. Maybe I just needed to go home; that seemed like the best option. I could just leave right now, never speak to Roxas again, and try to get through school as best as I could . . . Alone. It seemed that Namine wasn't going to be hanging out with me anytime soon, anyway, so that meant that I had virtually no friends. What was the point of life without friends?

I don't know how long I sat there in that swing set, waiting for God-knows-what to happen. People came to the school in throngs, filling the gym with their incessant chatter and cheering, even though Roxas's band wasn't scheduled to play for awhile. Some kids even waved cheerily to me as they passed by, but I could barely manage a smile in return. I felt like something was clamping down on my heart—something heavy, something malicious. It was causing me to never want to get up from my spot, and I don't think I much cared at that point.

Finally, I heard the crunch of feet on gravel behind me, and I already knew who it was.

"What are you _doing_ over here, little chicken? I was worried you left," Roxas said earnestly, kneeling in front of me and placing his hands on my knees. He peered up at me with such pure sincerity in his eyes that I had to force myself to look away. With a simple glance, he made me want to give in—to trust him all over again.

Roxas frowned. "Why won't you look at me?" I felt his fingers brush my cheek and I jerked my head away, looking at him with a mixture between beseechment and suspicion in my eyes. He studied my face for a long moment, his gaze switching from my left to my right eyes, and then he sighed.

"What did I do?" he muttered dejectedly, almost guiltily.

I just shook my head. "I'm going to go home," I said in a tiny voice.

"Xion, please," Roxas pleaded. "Just stay—watch us play."

I pulled my iPhone out of my sweatshirt pocket and unlocked it, preparing to dial Ayumi's number. Roxas placed his hand over mine, restricting my movement, and seemed to almost pout up at me.

"Don't do this again," he whispered, sounding almost . . . Broken. "Please stay."

I felt a surge of anger and I pushed him away from me, causing him to have to hop to his feet to avoid falling into the playground rocks. I got up off of the swing and stormed toward the parking lot. People were looking at us, pointing and whispering Roxas's name.

"Xion, _please_!" Roxas called after me.

"Leave me alone!" It burst forth, sounding like a child's cry, and made me flush red-hot with anger and embarrassment. I felt Roxas's hands on my arm, but I wrenched myself out of his grasp. I didn't even want to look at him.

"_Xion_!" he finally shouted, causing everything and everyone to seem to cease movement. "_I can't do this without you_!"

I halted in my tracks, feeling something in his voice tugging at my heart. I lost my breath for a moment, and turned slowly to face him. As we looked into each other's eyes, I felt the wind breezing through, whipping our hair about our faces.

In that moment, I felt so angry, all at once, that I wanted to slap him across the face.

"Can't do this without . . . ?" I repeated, lowering my gaze to the concrete below our feet. I clenched my fists and looked up all-of-a-sudden, at his innocent, hopeful face, and almost couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Do you think I'm an _idiot_?" I practically screeched, earning even more curious glances from the surrounding teens.

Roxas took a step back, his eyes widening.

I continued, "Why don't you just go 'do it' with your girlfriend? Because I'm pretty damn sure she's the one you can't do anything without."

Roxas's jaw dropped and he angrily replied, "My _what_?"

I crossed my arms. "I can't believe you led me on," I sneered, shaking my head slowly and trying my best to convey my twisted, hurt emotions in a single glance.

"Led you . . . ? Xion, what the _fuck _are you talking about?" Roxas cried.

I continued to shake my head, refusing to listen to any of his pleas or excuses. I was so used to having my trust broken that this it was starting to get old.

"I hate this," I spat. "I hate being treated like shit. I just . . . I—"

"_Xion_!" he roared, causing me to jump. "_I have no fucking idea what the fuck you're talking about_!"

"I _trusted _you!" I screamed back, stomping my foot out of pure rage. Tears had collected like pools in my eyes, and it was becoming a struggle to see. I could tell that Roxas was coming toward me, but I suddenly found myself unable to speak for fear of letting out the sob that was desperately attempting to claw its way out of my throat.

Roxas ignored me. "Xion, who the fuck told you that I had a girlfriend?" he shouted.

I flinched at the loudness of his tone and the tears began to fall. I wiped my nose with one arm and gestured lamely to the gym with the other. "That Kairi girl, or whatever . . . _She_ told me . . ." I said in a thick voice.

Roxas seemed to freeze as white-hot fury radiated from his entire body. He stiffened and clenched his teeth, finally crossing the rest of the distance between us.

"I am not . . . Dating Kairi . . ." he growled, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes.

"But she said . . . ?" I protested lamely. "For two years . . . ?"

Roxas muttered, "Because she's _crazy_, little chicken."

There was a moment of silence as I kept my eyes pointed downward, feeling the most intense amount of guilt that I had felt in a while. I felt terrible for thinking that Roxas was such a bad guy—he hadn't betrayed my trust after all. Roxas must have been so pissed at me; I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd never wanted to talk to me again. To say that I was relieved would only be half of the truth—I also felt mortified; mortified that I would say such horrible things to Roxas. However, I was still puzzled. Why had Kairi lied to me about dating Roxas if they really weren't?

I snapped out of my bewildered thought process as Roxas grabbed my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger and moved my face upward. I remained looking down, feeling almost beyond horrible.

"Look at me," he ordered softly.

I slowly moved my eyes to his, feeling my heart stop in my chest. He was gazing at me so tenderly, so intensely that I began to shiver. I could feel the heat of his body washing over me, and behind that, I could still detect his anger at Kairi, or whoever it was that he was angry with.

"I like _you_, Xion . . ." he said quietly, never once looking away from me.

The moment I felt his lips touch mine was quite possibly the only time I could ever remember feeling valuable.

An electric feeling shot up and down my spine and all throughout my arms and legs. I sighed against his mouth, trying to comprehend what the heck was happening, and attempting to figure out when he' had started to kiss me. Around us, people were cheering slightly, and a few even made a couple cat calls to Roxas. I wanted to laugh, cry, and scream, all at the same time.

This felt like the first kiss that had been stolen from me so long ago.

When Roxas pulled back, I immediately dissolved into tears. Roxas had no idea how his simple, gentle kiss had made me feel. I felt so cared for—more cared for than I ever had in my entire life. My only memories of romanticism involved the violation that my brother had inflicted upon me, but this . . . This was much, _much _different. My whole body hurt, but it still felt good—as if that made any sense.

"Why are you crying?" he laughed, pulling me into a tight hug and kissing the side of my head. I felt his lips even through my hair, and it made me blush.

"I . . ." I couldn't bring myself to say it, so I settled with my second-strongest emotion. "I'm just so happy."

"Good," Roxas murmured into my ear, picking me up off the ground as he hugged me a second time. "Now, don't you worry about Kairi—I'll deal with her. Just come watch me sing, and then I'll take you out for ice cream afterward."

I followed him back into the gym, extremely aware of all of the eyes that followed us, and it was as if I was soaring above the clouds. I couldn't remember ever feeling this good about myself or about the way that my life was going. I had liked Roxas since I'd first met him two weeks ago—who would have guessed that he liked me, too?

"_Lay me down, tell me everything will be all right, things will be all right,_" Roxas sang into the microphone that night, looking seemingly into the depths of my soul from the front of the gym as I stood in the front row of the crowd, a small ways away from the mosh pit.

"_Thunder storms could never shake us. Lay me down and kiss me like things will be all righttttttt. Everything will be alll riiiiigggghhh-iiiigggghhtttt."_

/**fall deeper and deeper**\\

I opened my front door with a wide smile on my face and a strong feeling of joy in my heart. There Roxas stood, wearing a pair of tight black skinny jeans and a black-and-red-striped V-neck. He grinned back at me, and tackled me in a huge hug.

"I missed you," he said warmly into my ear as he set me down.

"Mm," I nodded. Today, I wore a simple outfit: a white chiffon sun dress with a cute black ribbon tied into a bow cinching the waistline. I hadn't really been expecting Roxas until the last minute, so my long, long hair was worn straight and loose, flowing down my back like a waterfall of inky black.

It had been a week since I'd seen Roxas, seeing as I'd been grounded for sneaking out and attending the show. As soon as I'd gotten home that night, I had felt the sinister air in the house. My parents had demanded to know where I'd gone and who I'd been with, I'd told them, they'd flipped out, and the result was a week-long grounding and the strict order to never see Roxas ever again.

So why, you may ask, was Roxas at my house?

My parents were upstairs, asleep early because of a trip out of town scheduled for the next day, leaving me under the care of Ayumi, who had almost gotten fired for helping me to sneak out. Naturally, I had invited Roxas over as soon as I'd found out they were going to bed early. Ayumi had no idea I had done this, but she was in the shower, so I was merely going to sneak him up to my bedroom. It was a foolproof plan.

Roxas laced his fingers with mine and followed me as I led him to the grand staircase. He stopped me, however, and whirled me around to face him.

"Let's go out to the willow tree instead," he said. "We've got a lot to talk about."

I nodded my agreement, knowing that the low-hanging branches of the willow tree would be sufficient enough to hide Roxas's presence from any onlookers or maids, and we headed out back.

Once underneath the tree, Roxas and I both heaved huge sighs and sprawled out in the grass, spread-eagle and staring up into the branches of the tree. We simply enjoyed the silence for a long time before Roxas spoke.

"Whacha thinkin' 'bout?" he asked curiously, rolling his head to the side so that he could look at me.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, yet again, the scents of our surroundings. There were about a million and one thoughts racing through my head, but only one seemed to spring forth at the moment.

"I feel like I can finally stop hiding."

Quietness settled, and then, Roxas sat up on his elbows and gave me an odd look.

"Hiding?"

I smiled gently and shook my head. "It's nothing—a story for another day."

He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on top of his kneecaps. He watched me for a long moment, until he finally seemed to find the words he wanted to say.

"Xion, I feel different when I'm with you . . ." he murmured, gazing into my eyes almost inquisitively. "When I'm with you, I feel like . . . I feel like all of the lyrics in my songs make sense. Everything makes sense, I guess." He laughed a little bit, and finally looked _at _me, rather than through. "I started to write a song for you."

Shocked, I rushed to sit up, a large blush spreading across my face.

"A . . . A song?" I stammered. I was astonished that he liked me that much—astonished that he thought so highly of me.

He grinned, his black lip studs pushing out a little bit as he did so. "Want to hear the first two lines?"

I nodded energetically.

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Well, you can't."

I glared at him and punched him in the arm. "You're so mean."

"I know!" he gushed, grabbing my hand and squeezing it a little bit.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked after a bit, the wind picking up the ends of our hair.

He tossed his head to move his long bangs out of his eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's about . . . Kairi . . ." His smile faded, and I almost lost all of my courage. "Uhm . . . Uhm . . . I'm sorry. Was that too bold?"

He frowned, but shook his head no. "Go on."

I twisted the hem of my yellow V-neck in my trembling hands, avoided his inquiring stare, and mumbled, "Why did . . . Why did she lie to me about you guys dating?"

Roxas chuckled mirthlessly, and a strange look crossed his face. He dropped my hand almost abruptly, and my heart sank. Had I done something wrong?

"That bitch can go die in a sink for all I care," he snarled. "She's the craziest bitch I know."

I curled my fingers into the grass until it hurt to clench my fists, trying to keep myself from crying. He seemed so angry—it was because of me, it had to be. Nevertheless, I put on a small smile and nodded.

"Oh. I understand. That's good," I said, turning the aforementioned grin onto him to show him that I was okay. If he really was mad at me, then I knew I was going to have to do whatever I could to fix it.

He looked at me, and I flinched, knowing that he knew I definitely wasn't okay.

"It's a mask, isn't it?" he asked softly, peering at me as if looking deep into my soul.

"What?" I asked, confused at his sudden subject change.

"That smile . . ." he answered. "The smile on your face."

I blinked owlishly, and brought my eyes to his. Where had _that_ come from? Roxas wasn't usually one to talk deeply unless I asked him directly about something personal. His behavior was strange.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, slapping him lightly on the leg. "Don't be so analytical. Why don't we work a little bit on our project?"

Roxas nodded, and we set about writing a little bit more on our song. I found that we couldn't keep off eyes off of each other the entire time, and that for some reason, Roxas couldn't stop reaching over and brushing my bangs out of my eyes. Every time his fingers brushed over my skin, I shivered and an odd, dull ache in my lower gut caused my stomach to clench. It was an odd, alien feeling that I wasn't sure if I liked or not.

"Hey," Roxas said after the sun had long started to fade.

"Mm?" I asked, looking up from ticking out the beat of our song on the notebook.

Roxas was eyeing me strangely, biting his bottom lip softly and studying my face as if it were a rare specimen. The moonlight filtered in sparsely through the branches of the willow tree, causing Roxas's cerulean eyes to seem to glow silver. He looked handsome, even in the dark. Blushing in embarrassment at staring openly, I averted my eyes.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's dark out; don't you think I should go home?" he asked.

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah; I'm pretty tired anyway."

We clambered to our feet and Roxas reached over to sweep his fingers over my hair. At my questioning glance, he merely mumbled something about dirt and then trudged off to the house. I couldn't help but give his back a small smile before I dashed off after him.

As we walked, we chatted amiably about the day's events, and about Roxas's band's next show. He seemed to be laughing a lot, and I had to shush him more than a few times, knowing that my parents were trying to sleep upstairs.

"I don't really want to go," Roxas pouted when we got to the driver's side of his truck. He surprised me by wrapping his arms around my shoulders and smiling down at me softly. "Can I stay the night?"

I snorted. "What? No!" I whispered. "My parents would flip a bitch if you were here in the morning. That, and it's extremely inappropriate for us to sleep in a bed together." I smirked.

Roxas laughed, and I shushed him again.

"What, are you scared of me?" he said, his voice immediately dropping to a low whisper. His lip studs glinted briefly in the light of the moon, and I felt my heart race at the look he was giving me.

I shook my head. "Never," I smiled. "I'm just trying to uphold my morals."

"Xion, a guy and a girl can share a bed without having sex, you know . . ." he said, hugging me to his chest tightly. I opened my mouth to protest what he was talking about, but he cut into my sentence. "Don't freak out, little chicken. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded and lifted my head to say good night, when all-of-a-sudden, Roxas's lips were on mine. I felt them caressing my mouth softly, gently, and then, passionately and desperately. It felt as if he'd stolen my breath right from my lungs. He held me tight enough to let me know how much he desired me; loose enough to give me the chance to step away. But why would I ever step away?

I slipped my arms about his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair as rational thought packed up and left my brain for a vacation. My body felt strangely electric-more alive than it had ever felt. Roxas's hands slipped just under the hem of my shirt and gripped my hips, his fingers burning hot against my flesh. He gripped me unnaturally tightly as his skillful lips caused my mouth to open in a gasp.

Roxas pulled away abruptly, leaving me panting for breath in his arms and attempting to steal another kiss.

"Good night," he said with a wide, knowing grin before he turned around and climbed into his car.

I entered my house with the feeling of Roxas's hot hands imprinted onto my hips and stumbled through the kitchen. My mind was whirling, trying to make sense of the strange feelings that were coursing through my body. For some odd reason, I was wishing that Roxas _could_ have stayed the night. However, as soon as the thought entered my mind, I struck it down. There was no way I was going to let Roxas into my heart of hearts so quickly-we weren't even officially dating. It was surprising that I'd even allowed him to kiss me so often.

I was still beating myself up about the whole situation when the dining room light flashed on suddenly above my head. Before I had the chance to adjust to the sudden brightness, a hand caught me across the face and I cried out in pain, reeling back and falling onto my rump.

"_Oma_!" I stared up at my mother in shock, barely registering the look of pure hatred that was in her eyes.

"You little whore!" she screeched, grabbing me by the hair and causing stars to explode before my eyes. I pleaded with her to stop as she dragged me kicking and screaming into the living room.

"We'll just see what your father has to say about your little _boyfriend_," she spat in her broken English, tossing me forward so that I landed on all fours in front of my father.

There was a long, tense silence, in which I heard my mother catching her breath, panting angrily. I trembled with terror, realizing that my mother and father had seen me outside with Roxas. Oh, what would they think of me now? I started to cry, the tears leaking steadily out of my eyes and dripping off of the tip of my nose as I kept my head bowed.

Finally, my father walked away.

"Deal with her," was all he said before he ascended the stairs.

I didn't even have time to take another breath before my mother's hands were in my hair again, yanking me backward and up to my feet. She shouted nonsensical words at me-shouted about how I would make my father look, and how impure I already was, how worthless. I continued to cry, hardly feeling the heavy rain of stinging blows that she laid upon my face, neck, and shoulders. She left me with another week of grounding, snarling at me to stop sniveling since I apparently "ruined my father's life when I got my brother arrested."

By the time I hauled myself to my feet, the pain had washed over my entire body in a wave. My head was pounding agonizingly, reminding me that nothing I ever did would be acceptable to my parents. I had to crawl up the stairs, my vision was swimming so badly, and I couldn't even get myself into my bed. Instead, I just lie there on the white carpet in the dark and cried myself to sleep, the only light coming from the moonlight that spilled in from the sliding glass door to the veranda.

/**the sirens are singing your songs**\\

"Xion! What are you doing on the floor?"

I thought I heard Ayumi's voice, thought I felt her soft hands patting my face in a desperate attempt to wake me up, but when I was finally able to crack open one swollen eye, I was astonished to see myself looking up into the eyes of Roxas.

"H-How did you get in . . . ?" I stammered meekly, placing a hand on his chest. I felt a light breeze against my body, coming from the balcony's open door, and I knew that somehow, he'd climbed up and come in that way.

"I . . . I had to come back . . ." he whispered, combing my bangs away from my eyes and lifting me up in his arms, cradled like a small child. He shushed me as I protested, and climbed under the comforters and sheets of my bed with me. I was beyond shocked by now, but the ache in my body seemed to have worsened. I wondered how bad my bruises were, and whether or not Roxas could see them in the moonlight.

"Why did you come back?" I asked softly, trying my hardest not to let the bruises show. I was thankful for the darkness that permeated the bedroom, knowing that if even the slightest sliver of light hit me, he'd see the bruises that had most likely appeared between now and the time I'd fallen asleep on the floor.

Roxas didn't answer and, instead, rolled over to lie on his back. He folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, his jaw twitching as he ground his teeth together. I frowned and wondered if he was angry, and for what reason. The fact that he was lying with me in my bed was beyond me, though-I was too weak and in too much pain to care.

Finally, he rolled back over and looked deep into my eyes, studying me closely for the umpteenth time. When I began to feel as if I would fall asleep staring into those baby blues, his hand reached out to cup my cheek-I tried not to flinch at the contact, even though my bruises throbbed in protest. My breath caught in my throat, and I knew he was going to kiss me again.

"Let me show you why . . ."

Roxas pulled me in for a simple, chaste kiss that lasted perhaps a second longer than an average kiss. Though it was simple and sweet, I still felt it sizzle all the way down to my toes. He pulled away, and I found myself trying to look into his azure eyes through the darkness and his long, choppy bangs.

What was Roxas doing to me? I felt a strange hunger in me; one that frightened me as much as it intrigued me, and when Roxas leaned in for another small peck, I was the one who crossed the last half of the distance. He pulled away only once more, opening his eyes briefly to give me a lustful look before his mouth was on mine once more, trying to coax it open beneath his. The force with which he kissed me was causing little fires of agony to spring up all over my face, marking where my bruises were, and the pain mixed with the pleasure in an exquisitely weird way.

Roxas moved on top of me, placing his hands on either side of my head and pressing his hips into mine. My hands roamed up his chest, having found nothing else to do, and gripped his shirt tightly. My legs sort-of . . . Fell apart, spreading to accommodate his lower body. The heat from our bodies was unbearable in only the best way, and before I knew it, I was gasping as if I had been thrust into the center of an inferno.

I winced as Roxas moved his lips from mine to my chin, up my jaw line, and he began to nibble on my ear. Against my will, I whimpered at the sudden, sharp spike of pleasure that zoomed through my body and I twisted my hands in his shirt.

"A-Ah . . . Roxas . . ." I whined as he bit down lightly on the skin beneath my ear.

I felt him smirking against my skin as he dipped his tongue into the lobe, eliciting a low moan from my lips. I froze, appalled at myself for making such a noise, but Roxas didn't seem to mind. He kept kissing his way down the side of my neck, biting down hard in random places, and then running his tongue along the stinging marks. I hissed in pain whenever he did this, because my neck felt like one giant bruise from the rough way in which my mother had dragged me to the living room earlier that night, but I didn't stop him.

"R-Roxas . . ." I whispered his name again, hoping to catch his attention so that he would stop. Things were moving much too fast, and I was rapidly filling with terror. If he didn't stop, I already knew what was going to happen, and I was _not_ ready to experience that again.

Strangely, the more searing his kisses became, the more I found myself moving my hips against his, striving to reach a place that I knew I didn't want to go to again-not since what had happened with my brother. That, and the pain of my mother's beating was finally catching up to me, causing me to feel as if the agony was pulsating, rising to a crescendo, and waiting to explode.

The fear caused tears to fill my eyes and I tried to push Roxas away, but he didn't seem to feel my hands on his shoulders. He was definitely a lot stronger than he looked. My eyes snapped open as Roxas's lips found the deep V-shaped neckline of my shirt, traveling dangerously close to my breasts. I tried to scoot up toward my pillow, to push him away, but he seemed to mistake my light shoving for me desiring him to remove his clothing. So, he sat up on my hips and pulled his shirt up over his head, causing his already-unruly hair to fall into his eyes in a messy, attractive way. Frankly, he looked sexy.

I lost myself in his kisses again as he brought his lips to mine and I felt his toned chest underneath my hands. His skin was almost scorching-it was definitely hot enough to provide me with warmth, even though the door to the veranda was open. Roxas's tongue slipped in-between my lips and engaged mine in a fierce battle of dominance, even though I knew I was sure to lose. All the while, I unconsciously let my hands wander absentmindedly over his torso, back and front, feeling his taut muscles. My fingertips brushed one of his pelvic bones and froze when he suddenly went rigid, and a small sound escaped his lips that seemed like a cross between a growl and a groan.

I started to tremble violently as Roxas grabbed my hand and place it upon the front of his pants. Images of my brother shoving me down into the dirt, ripping into my beautiful party dress and biting into my flesh. The pain . . . I knew this was wrong—sex was supposed to be a beautiful thing that came after marriage, and was part of a relationship built on the foundation of God. It had already been taken away from me once—would I give it up again so easily? I turned my face away, feeling the tears rolling unchecked down my cheeks as Roxas pushed himself up onto one hand and prepared to unzip his skinny jeans.

"P-Please . . ." The plea was small, meek, and nondescript, but it was enough to _finally _catch Roxas's attention.

Roxas halted in his tracks and removed my hands from my body, and then, he sat up.

"Xion?" As he looked upon me and touched my face, he felt the tears. The seconds ticked by as the guilt and fear and relief set in, and he peered down at me as if trying to make a hypothesis about an experiment.

"Oh, my God!" he eventually gasped. "You're a _virgin_, aren't you?"

I started to shake my head, but stopped myself. If he knew about my brother, what would he think? He would think I was disgusting, or impure, or abhorrent. Though they were all the same adjectives, they were each horrible in their own way.

Soft sobs escaped me; I was unable to hold them in any longer. Soon, I was crying so hard that I could hardly breathe. Roxas's eyes widened and he hurried to gather me up into his arms. The embrace was warm, and one of the most tender embraces I'd ever experienced in my entire life. Even though Roxas had lost control and almost forced me to do something I definitely didn't want to do, I still wanted to lie there, in his arms, until Kingdom come.

If that's what it took for me to be happy, then so be it.

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry, little chicken," he murmured against my hair, running his fingers through the now-tangled ebony tresses. "I feel like a piece of shit."

Roxas ran his fingers backward through my hair and pulled back and held my face in my hands. The unexpected contact was surprising and didn't really hurt too badly, but because of its suddenness, I jerked away, crying out. I stared in dismay at the long pieces of hair that I had to shake off of my arm, horrified at the amount of damage my mother had wrought upon me this time. Roxas narrowed his eyes and examined my face, searching for something he couldn't see.

Roxas buttoned and zipped his skinny jeans in record time, and then grabbed my small wrist in his hand. He dragged me out of bed, and I protested.

"Stop," I begged quietly, so as not to wake my parents. I began to panic as he dragged me to the open terrace door, knowing that if he got me into the path of the light, then he would see the bruises.

Roxas placed his hands on my shoulders and shoved me backward into the moonlight, his mouth immediately dropping open. His shimmering azure eyes traveled all over my face-from my eyes to my cheeks to my forehead to my mouth to my neck-and nothing was spared his critical gaze. His hands dropped off of my shoulders and fell to his sides. He took a step back, and my tears quickened.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, clasping my hands to my chest. "I'm so sorry."

Roxas shook his head slowly in disbelief, his eyes seemed to sparkle. Were those tears I saw . . . ?

He suddenly shoved past me and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I flinched at the loud noise, but was much too focused on my self-blame. I just wanted to curl up on my bed and fade into the nothingness. Why did all of this have to happen? This was my worst fear-having what my brother did to me get in the way of my romantic life.

I cursed my brother mentally and fell to my knees on the floor, staring at the closed bathroom door as I attempted to force the sobs back down. I balled my hands into fists and tried to imagine what Roxas was feeling right now. Was he angry at me? Did he never want to see me again? I felt lost as to what I was supposed to do. I didn't want to lose Roxas-he was the only person who made me happy. I hadn't felt this happy in years.

I struggled to my feet and staggered over to my vanity. My brain hurt so bad; it felt like it was rolling over and over inside my head. As soon as I saw my face in the mirror, however, it felt like everything-_including_ my swimming brain-stopped. I gasped in horror and ghosted my fingers over my mottled flesh. There was a nasty dark bruise encircling my right eye, causing it to hurt whenever I blinked. A large, spread-out bruise ringed my neck and some of my shoulders, only made to look worse by the small bite marks and reddish splotches that Roxas had left in his fiery escapade across my skin. I touched my cheek gingerly, careful of the medium-sized bruise that seemed to be splashed upon my cheekbone. No _wonder_ Roxas had been appalled.

The thought that my own mother could do something so horrible to me caused me to start sobbing. My knees could no longer support me, and my stomach hurt from crying so hard. I sank down and wondered what I had done to deserve the hand that life had dealt me. A mental image of the pure incredulity in Roxas's eyes when he'd seen my bruises only served to make me feel worse.

After a while, I noticed that Roxas still hadn't come out of the bathroom. I wiped my tears away, though they still built up in my eyes, and tried my hardest to stop hyperventilating. I rose to my feet and walked silently over to the bathroom door. I knocked once, but no answer came from within. Eventually, I pushed it open and reached beside me by reflex to flip the switch on.

Roxas stood shirtless, hunched over the sink, his palms flat on the countertops, and his unruly spiky blonde locks hanging into his azure eyes. He glared at me through the mirror, and from my spot by the door, I could see him trembling lightly.

"R-Roxas . . . ?" I whispered, slightly frightened at the almost animalistic look in his eyes.

"Who was it? Your mom or your dad?" he snapped suddenly, causing me to flinch and take a step backward.

"I . . ." I squeezed my eyes shut against the fresh tears that stung at my corneas. "My mother."

Roxas scowled and threw his arms up into the air. "Xion, I don't know what the Hell I'm supposed to think."

"I'm sor-"

"_Don't_ fucking apologize," he growled roughly, turning his heated gaze away from me.

My mouth closed and I stared down at the ground, unhappy and feeling guilty. Would things _ever _work out in my favor?

I was surprised when I felt Roxas's arms around me once again, holding me as gently as if I were made of porcelain. I knew he could feel me quivering, but he only continued to embrace me, pressing light, barely-there kisses to my neck.

"Come on; let's just go to sleep," he whispered, grabbing my hands and pulling me over to my bed. He helped me under the covers, and I tried not to think about the future and what the morning would bring-I tried only to focus on his warm breath on my forehead as he enfolded me in his arms once again. Our legs twined together of their own accord, and slumber set itself upon us rapidly.

* * *

**A/N: Lul. There was like, two or three mistakes in the last chapter, even though I said I was fabulous. Idgaf if there's mistakes in this chapter I guess. Bahaha.**


	5. Mexican Sun

** A/N: Heh heh . . . Lookit what I did for you guys. I resurrected it. You happy? Go ahead—all the hot boys can kiss me. You know you love me. Mwah~ I probably won't put that huge thing at the beginning with the title and all that dramarama. And I don't really like Sleeping with Sirens anymore, as I am now 21 and I am a little different of a person. So now, Roxas's songs and voice will switch to the band Memphis May Fire, but the band's name will remain Sleeping with Sirens. I don't know if that's what everyone liked about this fic, but . . . I don't know. I hope you'll all still continue to read it, either with the minute changes. Enjoy!**

**The lyrics in the page breaks are from Chevelle's song **_**Mexican Sun.**_

**x-x-x**

/**Like to be feeling the sand bring color back to both my arms, the sun**\\

Roxas was extremely quiet when we awoke the next morning, as was Ayumi as she bustled about my bedroom cleaning, as per usual. I was shocked that she hadn't flipped out when she'd seen Roxas and I entangled within each other in the morning. Any normal person would have immediately thought the worst, but Ayumi didn't seem to be affected by it. That was Ayumi for you, though—she cared about me so much that she would purposefully turn a blind eye if she felt that it would make me happy.

When my eyelids fluttered open heavily, I found myself looking into Roxas's concerned azure irises. His hand was on my face, just as it had been the night before, when he'd gone in for the kiss, only this time, there was no lust. Only an intense gaze filled with endless amounts of worry.

"G'morning," I murmured, trying my hardest to keep things light. I knew that what I had told him the night before had really upset him, and I didn't know if he was still angry. He had locked himself in a bathroom for nearly an hour—it had been a bit of a dramatic night, I'm sure you can understand. I didn't want to cause him any more distress; I just wanted everything to go back to normal.

Roxas didn't say anything and, instead, stroked the bruise on my cheek, his brow furrowing as he gazed upon it. He then sat up, still shirtless, and got out of bed. I sat up, too, and watched him with a worried frown on my face. Was he still angry with me? I couldn't bear it if he was—I didn't want to lose him.

As I pulled on a simple black dress with spaghetti straps and a cinched waist, I realized that even Ayumi was being strangely mute. Usually, she was the loudest of the two of us. What was going on?

"Is . . . Is something wrong?" I stammered to her nervously, half-expecting her to completely ignore me.

Ayumi turned to me with tears shining in her eyes, and then quickly turned back around, sniffling and rushing out of my bedroom with a basket full of laundry. I struggled to keep my panic levels down—was I to be a nuisance to everyone that I cared about?

Roxas came out of the bathroom shortly after, rubbing his nose tiredly with the back of his hand. His hair was as unruly as always, and he seemed to have changed his black lip studs out for some silver ones. I briefly wondered where he'd been keeping the extra lip rings when he came up to me and sighed.

I opened my mouth to apologize for everything, but my voice was stopped short as he lifted his hand to my face, brushing his knuckles tenderly over my cheek bruise yet again. His hand trailed down my jaw line and rested on my neck, his thumb ghosting gently over the large bruise that ringed it. A strangely pained look entered his eyes, but it was hidden from me as he drew me to his chest and hugged me tightly.

I hurried to wrap my arms around his small waist, bare as his torso was, because I was afraid he wouldn't hug me like this ever again. I inhaled softly his scent and realized with sudden clarity that he'd used my deodorant. I bristled, as it was a pet peeve of mine when people used my stuff, but then I remembered that Roxas hadn't brought any of his stuff with him. So I smiled a small smile and stood there in his arms for a long time.

I wondered what he thought of what I had told him the night before—of the admission of my mother's abuse. Did it freak him out? Did he now think I had too many problems for him to deal with? God, I was such a waste of space. Why was he even standing here, holding me like this? It would be better for him to just find someone else—someone better. I fought back tears, knowing that crying was pointless. It wouldn't change anything, especially not the fact that my own mother used me as a punching bag.

Eventually, Roxas pushed me away kindly and walked out to the veranda. I looked after him, pouting. I could tell that he was still mad—he hadn't spoken a single word to me all morning.

Sighing begrudgingly, I trudged over to the bathroom to put on my make-up, wondering whether or not this was the last time that I was going to see Roxas. As I put on my shimmering white eye shadow, black liquid eyeliner, and curvy false lashes, I found that tears and eyelash glue weren't the best type of emulsion, and that black eyes weren't so easy to conceal. When I was finally able to finish, however, I had done a decent job, so I sighed and prepared to walk myself to school.

I was genuinely surprised to see Roxas still standing on the balcony, leaning with his arms crossed on the balustrade, gazing out at the willow tree and the cliff it overlooked. The gentle morning breeze wafted all around us, lifting up his hair slightly. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as I came up behind him, but still he did not say anything. Biting my bottom lip, I placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. Almost as soon as I did, he sidestepped my touch and walked back into my bedroom, heading for the door.

I flinched, my hand still held loosely in the air. I curved my fingers into a fist and brought it to my chest, feeling as if he had slapped me. It was my worst fear. I _hated _it when people were angry with me. My mother beat me when she was angry with me. I didn't think that Roxas would ever lay a hand on me, but having him mad at me was just as bad for me in my mind. I just wanted things to be _okay_.

_I guess it's time to go . . . _I thought sadly as what felt like a giant hammer landed on my heart. I fought back more tears at the thought that maybe this really _was _the end of Roxas and I. I mean, we weren't technically "together" yet, but I liked him so much . . . I just liked the way he made me feel—how happy he made me.

The car ride was almost unbearable as Roxas drove me to school. Even the fact that Roxas was driving shirtless and shoeless wasn't enough to lift the mood. Suicide Silence played their brutal, heavy riffs out of the speakers, and even though it was quite possibly the best band I'd ever heard in my life, I didn't notice. I was trying so hard to focus on _not_ breaking down that I swear I probably could have burned a hole in my hands (which were clasped tightly, oh-so-tightly, in my lap) if I'd wanted to. For once, I _couldn't_ feel Roxas's eyes on me, and it felt . . . Well, it felt lonely already.

Roxas began to pound his fists against the steering wheel in tune to the drums of the song _Unanswered, _banging his head at the intersections. I chewed my lip anxiously. Even these little things he did showed his passion for music, his passion for the melodic prose. I was going to miss this—I was going to miss him.

As he turned the corner onto the road where the school was located, the depression began to set it. In a few more yards, I would get out of the car, and Roxas would be gone.

A single, miniscule teardrop leaked out of the corner of my eye and I stifled a small gasp. I quickly placed my right knuckle in my mouth and bit down, desperately trying to hide my despair. The pain was an anchor against the abyss my mind so desperately wanted to spin into.

Roxas pulled into the parking lot and put the truck in park. There was so sound, save for the music in the background, and our own breathing.

"R-Roxas . . . ?" My voice quavered, belying me my sadness, and Roxas looked at me sharply.

"Xion? Are you okay?" He leaned forward and tried to peer into my eyes, but my bangs fell forward to shroud my vision.

"I . . . When I'm with you . . ." I started, unable to continue for fear of breaking out into gut-wrenching sobs. I then looked at him with wide eyes, tears sparkling in my cerulean irises.

"Mm?" he queried worriedly.

"When I'm with you . . . It's not a mask," I whispered, clasping my hands together even tighter. "My smile . . . It's real."

Roxas stared at me blankly for a long, long moment before he closed the distance between us with a kiss. I gasped in shock, in disbelief that he hadn't given up on me. I had been so sure . . . I . . . _Was this truly happening?_ Happily, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back with fervor, allowing him to explore every crevice of my mouth as he saw fit, until we could no longer breathe and had to pull away to gasp for air.

He smiled at me affectionately, our breaths mingling. "What are you freaking out about, little chicken? I haven't forgotten you." His cobalt blue eyes twinkled and I couldn't help but smile.

A _real_ smile.

/**Let it do damage like they said it would if given chance**\\

"Hey."

I turned around, still somewhat lost in my thoughts about the events of the night before and this morning, and was definitely surprised to see Namine standing next to my locker. She had a strangely impatient look on her face and her smile was strained.

"Uhm . . . Hi?" I said, still reeling from the fact that she was actually _here_. Our fight hadn't exactly been a minute one. In fact, she had been quite cruel to me in the gym, the day that Roxas had brought me to meet all of his bandmates.

"So, like . . . I'm sorry," she said, chuckling briefly, as if it were no big deal that she'd been hurting me and ignoring me. "Okay?"

Despite the fact that what she had let Kairi say to me—and what she herself had said—were horrible things to say in the first place, my joy at her wanting to make up overrode the common sense. She was my best friend, and had been for years. I would forgive her for anything, purely because I loved her. She knew me better than I knew myself. I pulled her into a tight, warm hug.

_ "_Yay, Nami!" I cried happily. "I forgive you!"

"Good. So, like . . . You wanna eat lunch together today? Off campus . . . ?" I could detect a hint of something in her voice, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I shook away my sneaking suspicions; she was probably just overcome with joy at us being friend again. I knew I was.

"Of course!" I exclaimed, unable to wipe the smile off of my face. I hadn't been this happy in a while. "Do you mind if . . . Well, if Roxas comes?"

Her eyes seemed to flicker, like a candle flaring to life, and she shook her head. "No problem. I'm having . . . Someone come, too. The more the merrier. So . . . Meet me in the parking lot?"

I nodded energetically. "Yeah, dude! Roxas comes to pick me up there, so I'll be there."

Namine gave me a small wave, turned, and walked off at a brisk pace. I smiled, feeling truly happy. After all, Namine _and_ Roxas were _both_ in my life now. What more could I ask for?

As I bounced off to class, a few random words in conversations of passing students caught my ear. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, as it would take me a moment to stop and translate the English in my head so that I could comprehend, but the words seemed to be supported by nasty looks and snickers. Curious and a teensy bit apprehensive, I stopped to listen to one particular conversation that wafted out of the open girl's bathroom door.

"Xion did _what_ with the lead singer?"

"Yeah, I know, right? She doesn't look like the slutty type, if you ask me."

My heart stopped at the mention of my name. They were talking about me? Calling me slutty? Why were they saying that? And what had I supposedly done with Roxas? They couldn't possibly know that he had slept over the night before—not that we had done anything anyway, and not that it was anyone's business. I crept into the entrance of the bathroom, careful to remain hidden around the corner as I listened in inquisitively.

"So like . . . What all did she do?"

"I guess she just likes to call him and text him all the time. But then again, the redheaded chick—you know, the tall one who looks like a model? Yeah, well, she told me at Sleeping with Siren's last show that Xion was like, _all over _the other band members."

"Isn't the drummer already dating that Larxene chick, though? And the lead singer is with some chick named Kairi, I heard, for like years now. Ooh, but isn't Kairi the redhead? I think she is . . ."

"I guess so. But Larxene's weird-looking, and Xion is pretty, so . . . Yeah. But it seems like she uses her good looks to steal the guys from their girlfriends then . . . ?"

I covered my mouth with both of my hands, horrified at what I was hearing. Who could be saying all these horrible things? I wasn't trying to steal anyone! I had thought that Roxas wasn't dating Kairi, but now these others were saying it . . . ? How many times would I have to hear it before I found out the truth? I didn't know what to think of this situation. I had never really experienced what it felt like to overhear someone gossiping about you, let alone about something that was awfully untrue. I didn't know whether to be angry, cry, or just walk away.

"So who told the model chick or Kairi or whoever she was all of this?"

"Supposedly some kid at SWS's last party, at the lead singer's apartment like a month or so ago. Apparently, the kid saw Xion going upstairs and coming out a while later fighting with her best friend. That, and Kairi's at all of their shows—she says she knows the band."

"Isn't _Kairi _the one who's like, _with_ the lead singer? I betcha he's gonna cheat."

"Tch. I wouldn't blame _him_. That Xion girl is such a slut! Do you see what she wears? She looks like one of those anime _hentai _girls that come out of that Japanese tentacle porn shit. She's probably just trying to use her body to seduce them, or . . . Well, what the fuck ever—that sounds a little bit corny. But you know what I mean."

"Yeah . . ." The other girl laughed a little, derisively so.

Tears came to my eyes bit by bit, their cruel words biting into my heart like the steel edge of a blade. At first, I had thought that it was Kairi who had spread this rumor, but now I knew that it had to have been someone else. But who . . . ?

The girls went on, saying horrid stuff about me until I could no longer bear to hear it any longer. Their derisive laughter rang in my ears as I turned tail and fled down the hall. Even as I ran, more and more gossip about me filled my head until I just felt like I was going to explode. At the next bathroom, I rushed in and locked myself in a stall. I struggled to catch my breath as sobs racked my body, causing me to have to sit down on the closed toilet seat to keep from collapsing. I hated this, crying all the time. I hated showing weakness to anybody, including myself. And lately, I cried way too much. It had something to do with Roxas—he had brought my walls crashing down, and all without batting an eyelash. I just . . . I needed him so badly. He was my rock. To think that people believed I was a whore, trying to steal boyfriends or something . . . ? What if Roxas heard the rumors somehow and believed them? What if he stopped talking to me?

'_Oh, God, please . . . Please, no,' _I thought dramatically in my head, hiding my face in my hands as the tears continued to pour.

The bell for class rang, and students came and went, but they all seemed to be spooked by my loud weeping. Eventually, I was alone with my sadness.

When I finally left the stall and caught sight of my bruised, splotchy face in the large mirror, I wanted to cry all over again. What _was _it about me that caused everyone to spurn me? Was I ugly? Was there something about me that just _screamed _slut or whore or prostitute, or any variation of the word? What did Roxas even _see_ in me? I couldn't understand anything anymore, and in my devastated state, I was reminded of the fact that I _was _a whore. My brother had seen to _that_ fact.

I didn't realize that I had scratched so deeply at the skin of my forearm that it was bleeding until I felt the sharp stinging assail me and overwhelm my senses. I gasped in pain and looked down at the rapidly reddening furrows, the blood collecting in jewel-like beads in the gashes that my fingernails had opened upon my flesh. Now what was I going to do? I was wearing a sleeveless dress—Roxas would see! I hurried to the sink and thrust my self-inflicted wounds underneath a gushing stream of freezing cold sink water, much too shocked at myself to feel it hitting my skin.

Had I actually . . . Self harmed?

In the pocket of my tight black skinny jeans, my cell phone vibrated. Sniffling and wiping my eyes, shaken at what I had done to my arm, I pulled it out and saw that Roxas was calling me.

'_Why is he calling me . . . ? He knows I have class . . .'_

"H-Hello . . . ?" I answered thickly, not really caring if he heard me crying.

"Xion!" he said breathlessly. "Are you okay? One of my friends at the school called and said he saw you run into the bathroom. He says he has class with you, and that you never came."

'_What a coincidence . . ._' I thought miserably as I sniffled again, and sighed.

"It's . . . Nothing. Just having a bad day," I said, obscuring the truth as much as I could.

"Well, do you want me to come pick you up?" He sounded genuinely concerned, and I was touched that he would go to such lengths to help me get away from everything. He truly _was _my rock.

"N-No," I stammered nervously. "I think I'll be okay."

" . . . Okay, well then I'll see you at lunch . . . ?"

"Mm-hm," I answered.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "All right. Well, bye-bye, little chicken."

I giggled softly as the line clicked off. Roxas was so kind to me, and just his voice to take my mind away from the awful place I was in; help me to forget about how sad and overwhelmed I was feeling, even if only for a moment. I turned back to view myself in the mirror, adjusted my long hair so that it was perfectly messy in all the right ways, and then headed off to class.

After second block was over, pain and sadness from earlier that day forgotten, I excitedly rushed out to meet Namine. I barely skirted Zexion's path in time to get through the door unseen. When I did, I saw that Roxas was standing next to his truck, leaning back against the passenger's side door as he talked with Namine and . . . _Kairi_?!

I halted mid-step, the smile falling off of my face as easily as rain from a cloud and almost dropped my binder. I couldn't believe this—why would Namine bring _her_ to lunch? And why did she have to look so much better than me?

Kairi was wearing a simple pair of dark blue skinny jeans, four-inch black wedge heels, and a flowing emerald-green chiffon top that made her crimson-red hair stand out amazingly in the sun. She was tall, and she was beautiful, and I didn't stand a chance. I would _never_ stand a chance—me, in my stupid dress that would look better on a dog than it did on me. I was so unbearably short, and she had curves in all the right places. I lowered my gaze, feeling as if I wanted to just crawl into a hole and die.

Well . . . Not _literally_. But I definitely wanted to go into a hole. Holes were nice. You could put things in them.

"Little chicken!" Roxas's face lit up as he caught sight of me over the tops of Kairi and Namine's heads. He pushed through them and came to meet me. We stood extremely close, and I looked away modestly as I greeted him. Around us, people who recognized the singer were stopping to stare. I wondered if they'd heard the rumors—if they had, then what were they thinking right now? _There she goes again, the slut of Sleeping with Sirens, tornado-ing her way through the entire band._

"How was class? You feeling better?" he asked in a low murmur. His eyes held more questions than just those, and I knew he was referencing my bruises.

I nodded and held my bangs out of my eyes, looking up at him through my false lashes.

"What was it that upset you so much?" he asked softly, reaching out to grab my hand.

I blushed shyly and shook my head. "Just a rumor; that's all. I'm fine now." I met his eyes once more, and felt my face heating up again. His irises were just so blue . . . I felt like I was sinking into them. Perhaps I could bring Roxas down into my hole with me . . . ? Holes had walls that needed pretty, shiny things to decorate them . . .

Roxas grabbed my chin gently and pull my lips to his in a soft kiss. My entire body flushed, and I smiled against his mouth. A small part of me felt triumph, because I knew that Kairi was looking. I'll admit, I leaned into it a bit much, and the small whimper of pleasure that came from the back of my throat was a bit much. Roxas seemed to respond to it, though, immediately taking his free hand and placing it on my waist. I could feel his fingers trembling, as if he were holding himself back, and he was gentle as he pulled me closer to his body. And although I was struggling not to visualize my brother's wicked grin hovering above me and focus on the fact that I was kissing Roxas, I was smirking inside my mind—Kairi just _had _to be pissed.

Roxas pulled away slightly, smiling as his affectionate gaze shifted back and forth from my eyes to my lips.

"I didn't tell you this morning . . . You look hella cute today," he said fondly, twining our fingers together and pulling my blushing, stammering self over to Namine and Kairi. I chanced a glance up at them: Namine was all smiles—_too _all smiles—and Kairi appeared calm. I held back the urge to pout, for I had hoped to see an enraged or possibly envious look on her pretty facial features. Ugh, no such luck.

"Ready to go to lunch?" she asked me sweetly, and it was all I could do not to widen my eyes in surprise at the kindness of her tone. "Do you like Panda Express?"

I was taken aback—she had been so awful to me before. I blinked once to recover, and then answered her.

"Um, yes. I'm pretty hungry, too."

"Sweet," Kairi said.

"This is gonna be fun," Namine added in before the two girls walked off to Kairi's car.

As soon as they were gone, Roxas shot me a look.

"Did you know she was gonna be coming?" he asked as he helped me up into the truck.

I shook my head, still facing out the door and looking at him. "No; I only knew Nami was coming. I'm sorry."

He placed his hands on my knees. "No, don't apologize. It's not your fault she's a bitch." He leaned forward and kissed my nose before heshut the door and ran around to the other side of the car.

As we drove, we chatted amiably about school, and what it was like for Roxas when he'd been in high school. I told him about how stressful it was, but about how much easier the work was than the schoolwork in my former Korean school. He seemed genuinely interested in hearing about the topic, so I was allowed to talk as long as I wanted to about it.

Somehow, the conversation ended up veering into the "God lane," and I asked Roxas if he was a Christian.

Roxas answered without hesitating. "I am. I may not be doing such a great job, but I love the Lord."

I smiled. "Me, too. I just try to live for Him, you know?"

It was quiet, and the band I See Stars continued to pound out of the speakers, filling the confines of the truck with brutal guitar breakdowns and heavy, hoarse screaming. After a while, I thought that Roxas was being strangely quiet, so I reached over and touched his arm.

"Are you tired, or something?"

Roxas blinked rapidly, and kept his eyes trained on the road.

"I'm sorry . . ." He finally said, causing my hand to recoil away from him. He sounded truly sad; I had never before heard this tone in his voice. Quit frankly, it frightened me.

"Mm?" I asked, bemused. "Sorry for what?"

He wouldn't look at me, keeping his eyes trained upon the road. "Last night. I . . . I crossed a line. I've known you were a Christian for a while now—I can tell—and I really went too far. So I'm sorry."

I smiled gently. "It's okay, Roxas. I'm a Christian, but I'm not perfect. I do what I want. And either way, I liked it, so . . . So it's okay."

"But it's not," he protested as he pulled up to a particularly long red light traffic jam, absentmindedly tapping out the beat of the drums on the steering wheel to the song that was playing. "I could have made you do something you'd regret . . ."

_'You could never hurt me as badly as I've already been hurt . . .' _I thought despondently as I touched his hair and moved his bangs behind one ear. He glanced at me momentarily before shaking his head and tossing his unruly spikes every which way. I had a feeling he didn't like his hair put behind his ears, so I just settled for lightly stroking the strands. Roxas nuzzled his head into my hands, and I smiled. Apparently, he was just like a cute little kitten who liked to be pet.

In response to his earlier statement, I said, "But we didn't, so it's all right."

He groaned, "But it's awfully difficult to keep in control of myself . . . When you touch me like that . . ."

His words were so innocent, and yet so sinful that I halted my movements and blushed such a deep red that I think my cheeks turned the color of Kairi's hair. I drew my hand back, and he grinned wickedly over at me. I couldn't help but think back to the night before, remembering the feeling of him lying against me. It had been so scary, like it had been with my brother, but then again, it hadn't. I wondered if I would ever be ready to be like that with Roxas. Would he truly be willing to wait?

Roxas changed the subject. "So what was that rumor you were talking about?"

I bit my bottom lip. Did I really want to tell him? What would he think?

"Um . . . I don't really think . . ." I sighed and glanced out the window. "It was nothing."

Roxas parked the car in the spot next to Kairi's little green Volkswagen Bug in the parking lot of a McDonald's, and turned to face me.

"Xion, how do you ever expect for us to get to know each other if you can't tell me about something as unimportant as a little rumor?" He tugged playfully on a strand of my hair. "You're stronger than that."

"You give me too much credit . . ." I grimaced, sighing again. "But you're right. I'm just . . . I can handle it. Honest."

Roxas just shook his head, got out of the car, and came around to my side. I unbuckled my seatbelt, mentally beating myself for refusing to tell Roxas. I just didn't think I could keep control of my tears if I told him everything I had heard the girls saying, and I didn't want to bawl my eyes out in front of him ever again, not like I had the night before.

"Xion—" Roxas stated, but I cut him off with a bright smile.

"Let's join them," I interrupted brightly, hopping down out of the car and walking at a fast pace to the front of the restaurant. I heard Roxas scowl, and then felt his presence beside me as we greeted Namine and Kairi.

Kairi looked me up and down swiftly and then gave me a small smile.

"Hey. Let's go inside, shall we?" she said, her voice still like sugar and honey. I couldn't tell if she was being truthful, or just plain being a bitch.

We all filed into the little restaurant, and I couldn't help but smile a little as Roxas threaded his fingers through mine. He stood close to me as we got in the line, and for some reason, I was extremely aware of the fact that he towered over practically everyone in the restaurant. Maybe it was just because I was literally like five-foot-one, and he was over six feet tall?

Throughout the entire meeting, I was aware of quite a few things. I was aware of Roxas's arm around me, giving me the sense of security that I desperately needed after hearing about the rumor. I was aware of Namine's absolute refusal to meet my eyes, even though she and I were supposedly on good terms. And most of all, I was aware of Kairi watching me with narrowed eyes, almost as if she were studying my every move.

"So . . . Nami tells me you and Roxas are working on a project together?" Kairi asked toward the end of our lunch meeting. She was picking up her French fries and tearing them into pieces somewhat absentmindedly, casting Roxas wary glances every so often. She hadn't eaten a single bite, but I don't think Roxas noticed her obsessive staring—I did, though, and for some reason, it was pissing me off. Did she think that Roxas was going to find her attractive if she didn't eat? She was already gorgeous. Was she _trying _to make me feel worse about how plain I was compared to her?

'_If you wanna play that way . . .' _I thought bitterly, trying not to make a show of putting down my half-eaten burger.

Kairi's eyes shifted to me, then down to my food, and the corner of her lips turned up.

"Uh . . . Yeah," I answered, remembering that Kairi had asked me a question. "Just a . . . A song we're writing together."

Roxas was staring off out the window over the top of my head, as if he'd rather be anywhere but where we were. I stifled a frown, wondering if I was doing something wrong. I suddenly felt somewhat suffocated, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, Kairi excused herself as well, insisting that she had to pee, too. She followed me into the bathroom, and we stopped in front of the mirror, checking our hair and make-up. It was unbearably tense and awkward. I had already seen through her ruse ages ago: she had no intentions of befriending me. She only wanted Roxas.

After a while, I noticed that she was watching me, and rage bubbled up within me.

"Can I _help_ you?" I snapped, putting my hands on my slender hips.

She smiled disarmingly, but I could practically smell the _fake_ dripping off of her.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked me softly. "Because you seem sad. I mean, you've definitely gained weight since the last time I saw you—I mean, duh, it's obvious—but you suddenly stopped eating out there." She ran her fingers backward through her crimson hair and her eyes twinkled, causing her to look even prettier than before. "I just wanted to follow you in here to make sure you were okay. I didn't want Roxas to worry, though, so I pretended I had to pee."

I stared at her incredulously.

"Are you . . . Are you serious?"

"I'm just worried!" Kairi protested. "I mean, I know we got off on the wrong foot . . ." She reached out and touched my arm, her fingers icy. "I just want to make things right. I want to be friends. Don't even worry about—your secret's safe with me. I won't tell Roxas about your . . . Eating problems."

I shook my head slowly, in utter and complete disbelief at her gall.

"You are such a _liar_," I scoffed in utter shock. "I mean, I may _look_ like the shy little Korean exchange student, but back in Korea, I knew how to stand up for myself. Kairi, I'm not buying this shit for even a second."

Kairi's charming smile didn't falter. "I'm sorry, what? I mean, really, I'm _so_ sorry but I couldn't understand your . . . English." She grimaced and laughed nervously, still gripping my upper arm lightly. "Could you repeat that?"

I felt almost as if I had been slapped across the face. In fact, I wouldn't put it past Kairi to slap me. I was half expecting it anyway. Instead, I took a step back, looking confused, and began to question whether or not I was going to sink to her level . . . Or rise to her challenge. Part of me wanted to give up, and ask myself a million times why she hated me so much, but part of me wanted to storm out into the restaurant and kiss Roxas just to prove a point to the snotty redhead. I mean, I _knew_ she'd heard me—my English may have been odd-sounding, but it was definitely intelligible. I clenched my fists and tried my best to quell my anger, difficult as it was.

"So . . . I guess I'll see you out there," she said triumphantly, turning to the mirror and playing with her hair a bit more. Her cerulean eyes masked her true emotions as she looked me up and down once before turning and walking out of the bathroom, heels clacking against the linoleum.

I growled under my breath a little bit, and hurried after her, shoving past and plopping down next to Roxas as hard as I could. I winced in pain, of course, and it caused Roxas to laugh.

"What in the world are you sitting down so hard for, little chicken?" he chuckled, putting his arms around me again.

Staring intently at my uneaten, cold burger, I waited until Kairi sat down to tell Roxas that I was feeling sick and wanted to leave.

"Oh?" Namine asked, exchanging curious glances with Kairi. "Leaving so soon?"

"If you ask me, the conversation's been lacking anyway . . ." Roxas muttered as he gently pushed me out of the booth.

Kairi laughed suddenly, causing Roxas and I both to look at her in a confused way.

"You're so funny, Roxas," she giggled, tossing her fabulous sheet of crimson hair over her shoulder and rose from her seat. She took Namine's hand in a friendly manner and made as if to leave with her. Then, she paused and turned back to face us.

"So . . . I'm having my birthday party at my house this weekend. It'd be so awesome if you came. I'm turning nineteen, so it's gonna be a pretty awesome party," she said brightly. "Dress your best~!"

With a wink, she was gone.

"Fuck that shit," Roxas chuckled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Let's go back to your house or something. You can skip school for the rest of the day."

"Mm," I said, thinking quietly to myself about Kairi's party invitation.

**/Had to be shouting your voices, scheming devils never make it through\\**

Back at my house, Roxas lay sprawled out on my bed with every intention of falling asleep on his stomach. I was laying next to him with my head on his back and my legs hanging over the side of the mattress, a manga in one hand and a can of soda in the other. I had initially grabbed a regular Pepsi, but something about the way Kairi had talked to me in the bathroom made me hesitate. _Was_ I gaining weight? I glanced down at my dress, wondering if it really was as obvious as she'd said it was. I gingerly placed my palm over my stomach, feeling the marshmallow flesh. I decided to put the Pepsi back, and grab a Diet Pepsi instead.

"Gimme the soda," Roxas mumbled sleepily.

"No," I giggled, my eyes trained on my book. "I'm drinking it."

"Waaaaaaah," Roxas whined. "Thirsty."

"Don't care," I replied, taking a large sip of the carbonated drink I adored so much. Honestly, I liked Pepsi more, but . . . I was just being cautious. I didn't want more reasons for me to convince myself that Roxas was better off without me.

"You're so mean," he mumbled, rolling over so that my head landed on the mattress at the same time that he landed on his hands and knees on the floor.

"Don't do that," I muttered, guzzling down the rest of the soda and tossing the freshly empty can at his head.

"Owwie!" he whimpered, rubbing the side of his spiky-haired head. He crawled around to the side of the bed that my legs were dangling from and placed his hands on my knees, peeking up at me cutely through his long bangs.

"Whacha thinkin' 'bout?" he asked in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes and continued to read my manga.

Roxas leaned up and plucked the book out of my hands, closing it, losing my spot, and scanning his gaze across the title.

"_Dengeki Daisy_?" he said. "What is this, one of them _hentai _thingies or whatever?"

"No!" I complained, trying desperately to reclaim my manga by getting up on my knees on the mattress. He waved it high above his head, his hand almost touching the canopy of pink gauze that hung over my bed, and looked down at me with a mischievous glint in his pretty azure eyes.

"Are you reading tentacle porn with me in your _bed_, little chicken?" he teased, his teeth flashing brilliantly. "Just what the heck are you thinking of doing to me?"

My entire body grew hot and I attempted again to retrieve the book (which, mind you, was absolutely _not _in any way pornographic. Sort-of . . .).

"Shut up," I snapped. "You meanie."

"You're not getting it back until you tell me what's going through that head of yours," he said with a slight pout.

I placed my right hand on his left shoulder and reached up with my left hand for the book. I didn't want to tell him that what I was thinking about was way too much for him to handle. Not only was I remembering the harsh gossip I'd heard in the bathroom and the way that Kairi had pointed out my weight, but I was also thinking about Kairi's party. I _actually_ wanted to go to it. Even though I had a suspicious feeling that her niceness in the McDonald's bathroom had been entirely false, I was a Christian, and I would much rather be friends with Kairi than be her enemy. I didn't think that Roxas would understand my logic. He had told me he was also a Christian, but I had a feeling that in this matter, he'd be a little bit on the stubborn side.

"Well," I said huffily, adjusting the waistline of my black dress. "I guess I'll just have to resort to . . . Desperate measures . . ."

He frowned in confusion. "Desperate measures? What are you . . . ?"

He trailed off, his eyes following the path of my hands as I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. I smirked victoriously when I raked my fingernails gently across his scalp and his eyelids feel shut. A shudder ran visibly through his body, and I saw him drop the manga onto the floor. I was about to dive for it, but the next thing I knew, Roxas's hands were gripping my waist tightly, pulling my body flush against him from my place on my knees on the mattress. I looked up at him in surprise, seeing the look in his eyes, and I felt fearful. I tried to lean back, but he only held me tighter.

"I told you not to do that, Xion," he purred, the use of my real name and not his usual nickname for me causing my eyes to widen.

"Wh-Wha . . . ?"

"Looks like I'm going to have to punish you for disobeying me . . ."

My heart skipped a beat at his naughty words, and I opened my mouth to speak, but was silenced when he darted forward to nip at my earlobe. I felt the hairs on my body stand up straight and I gasped in a mixture of bewilderment and surprise. I clapped my hand over my ear, blushing clear down to my toes as I stared at him incredulously.

"Sorry," Roxas drawled lazily, and I knew he was anything _but _apologetic.

"_Aissh_!" I cursed in Korean, smacking him on the chest. "_Oppa_, you are meaaaaan."

"'_Oppa'?_" He laughed in confusion and amusement. "What the Hell does _that _mean?"

I smiled brightly. "In Korea, girls call their boyfriends '_oppa_' sometimes."

Then, I realized what I had just said, and my lips sealed themselves shut. Roxas wasn't technically my boyfriend, and I had just put him in the category without asking him first. Oh, dear. _Oh_, dear.

"Hm," Roxas said thoughtfully, slipping his arms around me and embracing me. His hair tickled my face and he dipped down close. "I think I might like the sound of that . . ."

I blushed, the heat emanating off of his body only making it worse.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Ayumi stumbled in, looking bedraggled and frightened.

"You must hide him," she told me breathlessly, fixing loose strands of her jet-black hair. "Your mother is home early from her shopping trip, and I must go greet her!"

Roxas and I exchanged alarmed glances.

"Well, why don't you just tell her I'm not here?" I asked frantically. "I can turn off the lights and Roxas and I can hide out on the balcony?"

Ayumi paled. "She saw his car," she whispered.

"Shit," Roxas cursed, placing his hands on my hips, lifting me, and placing me on the ground.

I averted my gaze in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry; go hide in the shower in my bathroom."

"Why don't I just go down the hall and try to get past her while Ayumi distracts her?" Roxas suggested, hands still on my hips.

I shook my head, my eyes wild with terror. "No, it's too risky." My heart began to race—this wasn't what I had expected would happen. I wasn't prepared for this.

"Well, then why don't we just confront her?" He spread his arms wide. "Just tell her we're . . . A thing, or whatever?"

"Xion?" I heard my mother's heavily-accented voice in the hall, the sound of her heels clacking on the hardwood floor getting louder as she neared my bedroom.

Roxas, Ayumi, and I all stopped breathing before it finally clicked in my mind that we had literally five seconds to save my life.

"I'm sorry," I whispered urgently. I looked up at him, trying to get him to understand with just my eyes. Had he already forgotten what happened last night? Couldn't he see the fear in my eyes? Were the bruises on my face no longer visible? I was getting a little bit angry with him for thinking everything was just going to be all right if we just "confronted" my mother.

Roxas frowned again, stroking his fingers over my bruised right cheekbone before rushing into the bathroom. Just as the shower door closed, I sat down on the edge of my bed and my mother pushed past Ayumi into my bedroom.

"What are you two doing in here?" she asked us roughly. "You know the rules—when I or your father enter the house, all the staff _and_ my daughter must come to greet us."

"_Mianhaeyo_, _oma_," I said apologetically, bowing my head. "We were just . . . Talking . . ."

"Talking?" she snapped. "Was this conversation so important that it couldn't have waited? And nevermind that—who's here visiting? Whose car is that in the driveway?"

"My . . . It's my . . ." I stammered, my face flushing as I struggled for a good lie.

"It's mine," Ayumi suddenly spoke up, swooping into my rescue, God bless her. "I just . . . Bought it. I received a bank loan."

"Oh," my mother said in a sickly sweet tone. "You bought a car. How nice. And how do you ever expect to pay it off?"

"Well, miss, the money I earn working for this family pays enough to make the payments to the dealership and the bank, and—"

"Oh, it does, does it?" My mother looked especially beautiful in a dangerous way as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at Ayumi.

"Y-Yes, miss, it does." Ayumi bowed, keeping her eyes on the carpet. I think we both knew what was coming next.

"Did you ever think when you were receiving this 'bank loan' and buying a new car that you might have to tell your employers? Don't you know that the address you live in is ours, and that now, we will have to sort through your bills as we do our own? Bills come in the mailbox, as I'm sure you are aware."

"I was aware, miss, but I didn't think—"

"You didn't think? Well, there certainly seems to be a lack of thought around here lately." My mother cast me a sidelong glance and moved her hands to her slender hips. "For your insolence, you will be given a reduction in wages, _and_ you will now be paying a percentage of your pay to our family." She made as if to turn and face me, but then paused and looked at Ayumi with disdain. "Never forget your place. You're here because my husband is generous."

Feeling anger rise up within me, I blurted out, "Ayumi's here because I needed _someone_ here to love me after what happened!"

There was a long moment of silence, during which we all waited in the eye of the storm. I could not _believe _what I had just done. Why couldn't I ever keep my damn mouth shut around my mother? Half of the time, when she beat me, it was because I had back-talked her. And now, my nervousness about Roxas being just beyond the door of the bathroom had caused me to lash out. I had definitely made a _huge _mistake. My heartbeat quickened, and it was an unbearable physical struggle trying to keep myself from completely dissolving into a terrified panic.

My mother glowered down at me. "Don't you dare talk about the incident like you're the victim! Your brother didn't deserve what you did to him!"

I exploded, despite how scared I was of her reaction. "What _I _did?! Are you _insane_?! I was just a little girl!"

My mother's face was rigid, her mouth set into a thin line. I could tell that she was livid with me, as she had always been ever since the incident had occurred. I could still remember her reaction when I'd told her. It was a moment that I never wanted to relive.

I felt the sting of her slap in my heart as well as upon my face.

"Insult my son another time, and I'll make sure that you never have the chance to speak again."

Before I could stop myself, I said coldly, "I used to cry myself to sleep at night, you know, and it wasn't because of what happened."

I paused, feeling the motions swirling and mingling within me, coiling and waiting to snap.

"It was because my mother hated me for no fault of my own!" I let loose a sob and buried my face in my hands, feeling hopeless and alone. "Why couldn't you just understand?! Why couldn't you just love me the same way you loved him?!"

"He was the perfect son! He never once got a bad grade—never once did anything to mar the reputation of this family. But _you_," she snarled. "_You_ were the one who tried to single-handedly destroy our family with your wild cries of abuse. Well I wasn't going to stand by and allow you to lie—"

"_LIE_?!" I screamed, tears coursing down my already-bruised face. "Who in their right mind lies about that?! He was brother ,and I loved him more than _anything_. What the Hell is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Shut up!" my mother screeched, enraged. "Shut up, you stupid little bitch!"

I cried out in pain as she slapped me with all of her might and I fell to the right, hitting the side of my head upon the corner of my dresser. I felt blood from the wound that had been subsequently inflicted trickling down my ear and through my elbow-length ebony hair. I tried not to scream, knowing that Roxas was in the bathroom, likely horrified at what he was hearing. Ayumi gasped and rushed to my side. My mother, white-faced with fury, shoved Ayumi out of the way and grabbed me by the hair. She yanked me to my feet and glared me dead in the eyes.

"Your father will be the first to hear of your disrespect when he returns home," she hissed just before turning and storming out of the room. As soon as the door slammed shut, Roxas burst out of the bathroom and gathered me up into his arms.

"We've got to get her to the hospital," I heard him say quickly as black spots started to appear in my vision.

"What?" Ayumi gushed in a panic. "Do I call? What do I . . . I don't . . . How do we get her out of the house? I—"

"_Now_!" Roxas barked, standing up and carrying me over to the balcony. He kicked open the door and called Ayumi over.

"What should I do?"

"This is gonna sound crazy," Roxas said quickly, "but you've got to drop her to the ground. I'm going to climb down first, then catch her after you pass her off to me. Then, you can jump down, and we can get her into my car. Can you do that?"

Ayumi said a few incoherent sentences before Roxas repeated himself in a calm, firm tone. Ayumi shut her mouth and nodded.

"R-Roxas, no . . ." I stammered in a meek voice, feeling agonizing pain pounding against my head. "My _oma_ . . . She will be . . . A-Angry . . ."

"Shh," he said gently, looking down at me with concern painting lines in his face. "I'll tell the doctors you don't have insurance, and then I'll . . . I'll pay for everything."

I blinked twice, the spots and stars dancing in my vision increasing in number, and gave him a weak relieved smile before I passed out completely.

/**Hey, way to go lad**\\

I was just slipping my all-black Vans back on when there was a knock at my hospital room door. I hadn't seen Roxas or Ayumi since I'd been rushed into the hospital to be checked on after hitting my head, and that had been hours ago, so I excitedly told whoever it was to enter.

"Roxas!" I cried happily as Roxas rushed to my side.

"What'd the doctors say?" he asked worriedly, combing his fingers through my long hair and looking over my small wound with concern. The doctors had cleaned out the small gash and dressed it properly, and now there was a padded white bandage adhered to my skin, shielding me from further exacerbating it.

I batted his hands away and hopped down off the bed. In the back of my mind, I knew he was going to want to talk about all the things my mother and I had yelled at each other, but I didn't _want _to talk about it. I didn't want to drudge up old nightmares any more than I already had.

"I'm just fine," I told him as I walked over to the armchair that rested against the wall in the corner of the hospital room. I grabbed my pink pig backpack and pulled it on, slipping my arms through the arm loops. "I don't have a concussion or anything. They stopped the bleeding, and everything's fine. Ready to go?"

Roxas placed a hand on the middle of my chest and pushed me back slightly as I tried to pass him. He crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow at me. I looked up at him, feeling somewhat helpless under his firm gaze.

"We need to talk," he said quietly, seriously.

I glanced away, trying to change the topic of conversation before it went down a path I had no desire of following. "Is Ayumi waiting for us downstairs? She must be worried, and—"

"Xion."

"She's such a great friend." I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the slide of my silky black hair against my skin. "She's been there for me through everything. I don't want her to be so—"

"Xion."

"Did you call Namine?" I looked at him without really looking. "She'll freak out when she hears I went to the hospital. I–"

"_Xion_!" Roxas placed his hands on my shoulders and bent down a little bit to look me in the eyes. My words stopped short, and Roxas sighed.

"We can't hope to ever have a strong relationship if we aren't completely honest with each other," he whispered with sincerity, taking my chin in one hand and bringing his lips to mine in a soft, chaste kiss.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words caught in my throat. How could I just come out and tell him all about the event that I'd been trying to forget ever since it happened? I hadn't ever meant for him to heard what little about it that he _had _heard. I didn't want to have to go into details. I scrambled to find a way to change the subject.

"You . . . You want a relationship with me?" I asked, focusing on the happiest thing I could.

"Well . . . Yeah," he said somewhat nervously, tossing his head to get his bangs out of his eyes. "I really like you. I thought that was clear . . . ?"

"Well, I'm kind-of oblivious to those kinds of things," I said with a modest laugh.

"Well, let me spell it out for you."

I gasped in surprise as Roxas placed his hands on either side of my face and covered my mouth with his. He kissed me in a tender yet passionate manner—in a way that made my head spin and caused me to sigh in bliss. When he pulled away, he was grinning goofily, and I still felt the cool metal of his snakebites against my bottom lip.

"Wow," I laughed. "I didn't mean it _that_ way."

"I know," he smirked.

Feeling somewhat bold after such a mind-blowing kiss, I said, "So I'm your girlfriend?"

He smiled and mussed up my hair with one hand.

"Guess so."

Just then, the door opened slowly and the person I wanted to see the least poked her crimson-haired head in.

"Hi," she said in that mock-sweet voice of hers that both Roxas and I saw through.

"What do you want, Kairi?" Roxas snapped, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to his side.

Kairi smiled ever-so-kindly and produced a beautiful bouquet of white daisies from behind her back. She walked over to me, her four-inch platform heels clicking on the linoleum floor, and held it out to me with that same frighteningly-sweet smile.

"When I heard you were in the hospital, I was just so worried," she gasped, her eyes filling with concern—concern that was most likely fake. "I mean, after our talk in the bathroom at the restaurant, I feel like we have a _much_ better . . . Understanding of each other. You know?"

My eyes snapped from the daises to her then back to the daisies. We had a better understanding, all right. An understanding that we both despised each other with a burning passion, and that neither of us would stop until we brought the other one down.

So I took the daisies from her with a smile that mirrored hers, ignoring the astonished look Roxas threw my way.

"Thanks, Kairi—how nice of you," I said, hoping Roxas could detect the sheer sarcasm in my tone. "I feel like we have a better understanding of one another, too. It's almost like . . . Like we're friends."

"Oh, you're so silly," Kairi said, waving her hand dismissively and running her hands backward through her hair. She shot Roxas a sultry look, and then smiled at me again. "_Best_ friends."

"Yes," I lied in agreement. "_Best_ friends."

"Well," she said, glancing down at her French tips, "I have to be going. But you guys will be at my party tonight? Not my birthday party—that's later."

"Party?" Roxas and I said simultaneously.

"Uh, yeah," she scoffed. "It's only the most talked-about party ever. It's not _mine_, per se, but I did plan the whole thing."

"Whose party is it then?" Roxas asked, puzzled.

"Why, it's my friend Olette's, of course," she answered in that snobbish, holier-than-thou tone as she tossed her hair back over her shoulders, revealing those collarbones that could slice through concrete. "Her eighteenth birthday, to be exact. And I'm inviting you two last minute. Oh, and your bandmates and their dates are welcome to attend, too, Roxas." She turned and walked to the door, her flouncy white lace miniskirt dancing in step with her body before she stopped in the doorway and looked at us over her shoulder.

"Yes?" I said, still holding the flowers she'd given me up to my chest.

"Roxas, do you think you and your band could play a few songs at the party tonight, actually?" she asked. "I'm sure Olette would like it—she loves you guys."

Roxas and I exchanged glances. What did she want?

"I'll have to talk to the band about it, but I'm sure we can," he said cautiously.

"Great!" Kairi gushed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I'll see you guys at my house at seven then!" She started to leave again, and, much to my dismay, she froze again and turned to look at us once more.

"_Yes_?" I said again, my voice sounding a bit strained.

"Roxas," she said, looking pointedly at him with those piercing blue eyes that I knew could stop a speeding plane in its tracks. "Don't bring a date," she said softly, her brilliant smile seeming to light up the room as she pointedly looked in my direction, and then left.

Roxas and I were quiet for a moment before he scowled, ripped the daises out of my hands, and tossed them into the wastebasket by the hospital bed. 

"Roxas," I scolded softly, stifling my laughter. "What did you do that for?"

"That bitch needs to _go_," he snarled, heading for the door and forcing me to follow him as fast as I could to keep up with his long strides. "Ugh, who does she think she is, coming into _my_ girlfriend's hospital room and asking _my_ band to play at some stupid preppy high school chick's party? I mean, seriously?"

Roxas ranted on and on and on, all the way through the hospital, while he signed the discharge paperwork, and out to the car. While he entertained himself doing that, my mind began to wander as I thought about this whole new situation with Kairi. It was obvious to Roxas and I that her intentions were impure—we just didn't know what her real intentions were. Was it to assert her authority? To get Roxas back? Or to just hurt me for the sake of hurting me?

'_I'd like to hurt __**her**__ for the sake of hurting_ . . .' I thought irritably to myself as a crystal-clear image of me stabbing her repeatedly in the chest with a sharpened candy cane materialized in front of my mind's eye. '_See how __**she **__likes it, that stupid bitch. Grrr . . .' _

The stabbing continued, my mental self mindless of her screaming and the blood that splattered my body and the ground around us. Man, did I hate her. I'd stab the beautiful right out of her, until nothing remained but the pure evil that swirled in her cold, black, ugly, evil, lonesome, stupid, stupid, and more stupid heart.

Then, as usual, my imagination went wild as I imagined huge black wings spreading out from my back as I was awarded by God for killing the source of all the evil in this world. And then, Roxas galloped over to me, still in centaur form from the last time my thoughts went crazy. I leapt onto his back once again, epic opera music lifting our souls and spirits as my wings carried us to new heights that had never before—

"_Xion_! _Xion, stop!" _Roxas's alarmed voice broke into my crazy thoughts, snapping me out of my reverie and forcing me back to the present. Thoroughly embarrassed, I looked out the window and mumbled my apology.

"What the fuck, dude?" he said, starting the car. "You were like, waving your arms around wildly like a bird and kept hitting me in the fucking face. God."

I couldn't help but giggle, which in turn caused him to chuckle, and soon, we were both laughing so hard that tears rolled down our cheeks. We kept looking at each other stupidly, each and every look causing us to laugh harder until finally, I had to beg him to stop making me laugh so that I wouldn't wet my pants.

"Anyway," he said, his eyes still twinkling with mirth as he wiped them free of tears. "Do you really wanna go to the party, or did you wanna just go to my house and work on the project?"

"Well," I said, choosing my words carefully. "I kinda wanna go to the party, if we can."

Roxas gave me a quizzical look as he started to pull out of the parking lot. "You do?"

"Um, no?" I said with a short laugh.

"No, no, I mean . . . We can go, it's just I thought you hated Kairi . . . ?" he said, placing his left hand on the wheel and slipping his right hand in my left one and lacing our fingers.

"No," I lied. "We're . . . Friends, remember?"

He smirked almost knowingly and shot me a sidelong look. "Friends, huh?"

"Besides, I may be shy here in America, but back in Korea, I've got lots of friends and I'm pretty popular. So, I'd like to make some new friends, especially since Namine and I are on the outs," I explained to him, trying to talk past the flutter of nervousness in my heart at the fact that he was holding my hand.

"Popular, eh?" He arched one eyebrow before snorting. "_You? _Okay."

"I was!" I insisted, taking my hand out of his to smack him playfully on the shoulder. "I was on the Student Council, and I helped make a lot of changes at our school and even some of the surrounding ones. Especially since my parents are so famous in Korea and in Japan, so they had a lot of influence over the school board."

"Look at you, Ms. Hot-shot," he said, not taking his eyes off of the road.

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I mean," I said, exasperated. "I'm just saying. I want to go to the party so I can meet some new people. Not to mention, you could get some more publicity if you and your band performed."

"Yeah, you're right," he agreed thoughtfully. "Kairi's parents are in the record business, so if they're at the party, then the band could get 'discovered', if you know what I mean."

"Uh-huh," I nodded excitedly, sitting up in my seat and looking at him with bright eyes and a big smile. "I mean, you guys are so good. I'm surprised you haven't been 'discovered' already."

"Well, we had a chance last year to play in a Battle of the Bands, and if we'd won, we would have been awarded some studio time," he said, glancing over at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

"You did?" I gasped in shock, still sitting up in my seat and turned slightly to face him. "Why didn't you guys do it?"

"Well . . ." He seemed uncomfortable for a moment. The car slid to a gentle stop at a red light, so he leaned back in his seat and began to tap his fingers on the steering wheel. After a moment of silence, he sighed.

"You don't . . . You don't _have_ to tell me, you know," I stammered, suddenly feeling terrible for prying into his personal life.

"No," he said heavily. "It's okay. I'll tell you. It's just . . . It's difficult to say."

"Take your time," I said somewhat awkwardly, reaching timidly for his hand where it was resting in his lap. He looked at it with the hint of a smile twitching at his lips and began to play with my fingers absentmindedly. It was awhile before either of us spoke, seeing as I could tell that he was racking his brain for the best way to say his next words. I felt bad, wondering if he thought I was an annoying person for prying, even though he'd said it was okay that I had asked.

"We had a manager once," Roxas finally said, the incessant clicking sound of his blinker filling the car and swirling around us. He took his other hand off the wheel and used it to start massaging the hand of mine that he was already holding. He stared out the windshield as he did so, as if he were physically looking into the past.

"Wh-What happened to him?" I asked cautiously.

"He died," Roxas said shortly. The light turned green and he dropped my hand to put both of his on the wheel and turn onto the next street.

I felt a pang in my heart and my stomach flopped a bit. "D-Died?" I asked gently, taking my hands and putting them in my lap. "How?"

"Car accident," he sighed. "The day before the first round of performances were scheduled to be held. We got the news when we got off the plane in Beverly Hills. So we had to rush right back and basically wait for him to die."

"Oh, my gosh," I said, looking at Roxas with a pitying, concerned expression on my face. "You had to wait for him to die?!"

"The accident left him on life support, paralyzed and missing an arm and an ear. He'd been blinded by the glass from the windshield and flying out of the car from not wearing his seatbelt had given him such massive head trauma that he would have pretty much been a vegetable all of his life if my mom hadn't taken him off life support."

His mother? "It was up to your mother to make that decision?" I asked, confused.

Roxas sped down a rather long street with modest one-story homes and an all-over suburban feel, driving into a cul-de-sac with blue houses that were similar in design and that had lush, green lawns that seemed to be impeccably taken-care of. He zoomed into the driveway of the rightmost house and slammed the gear into park. He seemed angry.

"He was my father," he said as he roughly unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed his car door open. "My grandparents are dead, and I was only seventeen at the time. Who else but his wife?" With that, he hopped out of the car and down onto the pristine concrete driveway.

As he shut his door, I found myself lost in thought. Loss shaped us all, it seemed, and with so many different types of horrors constantly attempting to bring us down every day, it was difficult to stay sane. It was a wonder Roxas still found the courage to smile. I myself found myself smiling less and less, the only times I was ever truly happy being when I was with Roxas, Ayumi, or Namine. The loss of a loved one; the loss of innocence; the loss of a friend; the loss of time; even the loss of a favorite item—it all melted into one big, aching pot of despair.

I clenched my fists in my lap and stared down at them, at the daintiness of my fingers, and how fragile I really was. How could loss such as my own not have affected me as much as it should have? Not only had I lost my innocence, but I had lost many other things—a brother, my parents, the chance at making an important choice that I would never get to make again. Why wasn't I broken yet? What was keeping me together?

I jumped in fright as someone knocked repeatedly on my window. I looked over and saw that Roxas was there. I hurried to open the door, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I'm coming," I said, unbuckling my seatbelt swiftly and moving to get out.

Roxas smiled and helped me down, and then gave me a quick but gentle hug.

"Sorry you had to hear that right after you got out of the hospital," he murmured into my ear. "I didn't think about what . . . What happened to you."

"It's fine," I said, hugging him back tightly. "I'm fine."

He heaved a heavy sigh before he pulled away and gave me a bright smile.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said.

"Thanks," I smiled as I glanced all around us. "So . . . Where are we, anyway?"

He grinned and took my hand, leading me up the walk to the front door. I looked down and saw many pots of flowers, all arranged perfectly around a wicker chair and a swinging couch to the left of the door. To the right of the door sat another big pot of flowers, which seemed to be shedding pink and white petals on the welcome mat, which Roxas and I were currently standing upon.

"This is such a cute house," I said, slipping my hand out of Roxas's so that I could lean over and catch a whiff of some of the flowers.

Roxas rang the doorbell. "It's my mom's," he said happily.

I snapped up just as the door opened my eyes widen with surprise.

I found myself looking into the kind eyes of none other than our teacher, Mrs. Strife.

/**Hey, way to go**\\

"So your mom is really nice," I said from Roxas's childhood bed as he walked into the bathroom that was adjoined to his bedroom. We were currently hanging out in the room he'd used as a kid, waiting for his mother—our Advisory teacher—to finish cooking dinner in the kitchen. I was lazily flipping through an old _Game Informer _magazine as I waited for him to get dressed for Olette's party.

The minute Roxas had introduced me as his girlfriend, Mrs. Strife—or Aerith, as she'd insisted I call her—had been fawning all over me. She'd given me the tour of her house, invited me to stay as long as I liked due to my current situation with my parents, and had asked me all sorts of things about Korea over tea at the table. She'd offered to lend me a dress for Olette's party that night, which I'd declined since I'd already texted Ayumi and asked her to bring me a dress from my clothes in her new car—the car she'd been forced to buy in order to make her lie more believable—and she'd asked me to stay for dinner before the party.

"I know," Roxas called from the bathroom, where he was flatironing his hair. "All of my past girlfriends loved her."

I walked over to the bathroom doorway and leaned against the doorframe, looking at him in the mirror.

"All of your past girlfriends, huh, Mr. Stud?"

He grinned. "I have had as many girlfriends as you had friends back in Korea, Ms. Hot-Shot."

I rolled my eyes and walked back over to his closet to rifle through his clothes. "Anyway, I'm glad she's happy. And who knows, maybe she'll give us an extension on our project."

"Hah!" Roxas scoffed. "Keep dreamin', little chicken. I can't _tell _you how many times Kairi asked that when she was in that class with me."

I didn't say anything, finding the mention of Kairi to be almost poisonous, in my opinion. Roxas laughed and said, "I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"You don't like Kairi at all." He turned off the flatiron and walked out of the bathroom. He folded his arms over his chest and smirked at me. "Why _do _you want to go to this party?"

I drew myself up haughtily. "I do _too _like her! She's my friend." Even as the words left my mouth, I knew he could see right through me.

"Xion," he said sternly. "Come on. Seriously? No."

"Oh, all right," I said, stomping my feet. "I don't actually like her. But she's an evil bitch and she needs to die."

"I'm not arguing with you on that one," he chuckled as he brushed past me to get to his closet. "But that doesn't explain why you want to go to this party . . . ?"

"Because," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "Does there need to be a reason for _everything_?!"

Roxas pulled a couple things off of their hangers and shot me a pointed look. "For your boyfriend? Yes."

A blush stained my cheeks and I gasped as I found myself boxed in between his arms against the wall.

"R-Roxas?" I said.

"Yeah?" he answered, still smirking in that knowing way, as if he knew every little secret I had.

"What are you doing? Your mom is in the other room," I said, gulping out of fear and worry.

"I know," he grinned. "But _that's _not what I'm doing. What I'm doing is trying to figure out what your plans are."

"Roxas, I don't _have _any plans," I said with a deadpan look on my face.

"Yes, you do," Roxas insisted. "I know you do. Why else would you want to go to a party that a girl you don't like is throwing, for a girl you don't even know?"

"No, Roxas, I promise you I don't have any plans!" I said, smiling as if to reassure him. "If anything, I'm suspicious of _Kairi's _plans. I mean, don't you think it's odd that she was being a bitch to me all this time, then suddenly, she just decides to corner me in the bathroom at McDonald's and tell me she wants to be friends?"

"Well, yeah," Roxas said, pulling away from me and walking over to his bed. He tossed the clothes he'd chosen onto the comforter and said, "Kairi never does things at the bare minimum, let me tell you what. She's very . . . Extravagant."

My eyes went wide as Roxas pulled his shirt off over his head. I looked away, not willing to get caught staring at his bare back, and how the muscles seemed to ripple under his skin with every move he made.

"E-Extravagant?" I said, sneaking a look as he pulled a black V-neck on.

"Yep," he replied with a nod. "Trust me. This party is probably going to be a fucking ball. I mean, seriously. Who the fuck goes to a ball when they're in high school? For Christ's sake."

"Yeah," I replied. "That's kinda weird."

"Yeah," he went on as he changed his studded belt to a wide brown one. "But I'm not really gonna play into it, and neither is the rest of the band. If everyone else wants to wear like . . . Sparkly suits or some shit like that, then they can go ahead. Sleeping with Sirens has an image to uphold, though, so we're gonna dress normal." He turned to me and looked at me inquiringly. "Is Ayumi bringing you a fancy dress?"

"I don't know," I said, walking over to the bathroom, as I felt somewhat suffocated just by being in the same room as him when he didn't have a shirt on. I adjusted my long hair in the mirror and leaned forward to make sure my make-up still looked okay. My circle lenses felt a bit dry, but I didn't care. I was sure they'd feel fine for the rest of the night.

Roxas appeared next to me, making a few last minute preparations as well. Then, he looked over at me curiously.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

"Huh?" I asked, frowning. "What are you talking about? I feel fine."

"No," he said. "I mean, are you _okay_? I mean, the fight with your mother . . . I've been meaning to talk to you about it, it's just that you were recovering and stuff."

I flashed him a quick smile. "Oh. That. Well, um . . . I'm fine. I feel good. I think it'll be okay. Well, I'm gonna go call Ayumi, okay?"

"Xion," he sighed as I rushed out the bathroom and over to his bedroom door.

"Y-Yes?" I said in answer, clenching my fist to keep it from trembling so much.

"We're going to talk about it eventually, okay?" he said, coming to my side and taking my chin in his hand. He looked deep into my eyes, searching for something known only unto him. "This isn't something I'm just going to let slide—none of what happened today is going to go by the wayside."

I nodded, unable to find words to say.

He frowned heavily. "Xion, have you ever been in a relationship before?"

"Well, no," I said. "Actually . . . Yes. I don't know. It's hard to explain. Look, let me just call Ayumi and see if she's almost here?"

"Xion—"

I sighed and placed my hands on his cheeks, smiling up at him tenderly. "I'm grateful that you care and everything, Roxas, I am—honestly—but I just can't talk about this with you. Especially not right this second, either. It's not something that I can just . . . Just talk about, you know?"

He bit his bottom lip. ". . . All right," he said quietly. "I understand."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. "Really. Anyway, let's hurry up and get ready for this party, okay?"

"It's gonna be fun," he said lamely. I knew he felt dejected and probably angry because I didn't want to talk to him about the things he'd experienced and heard at my house, but there wasn't anything I could do. I clearly wasn't ready to talk to him about any of that right that moment, and especially not after what, three hours of being boyfriend and girlfriend? There were a lot of factors that would go into letting him into my heart like that, trust being the most important of them. Trust that he hadn't earned from me yet.

And yet . . . He'd told me about his father. He'd told me about his father, and he didn't hardly know me.

'_There's two different types of people . . .' _I told myself. '_Those who trust without knowing . . . And those who must first know without trust before the trust can be given. Roxas and I are opposites in that sense. I hope it doesn't get in the way of us having a relationship . . .'_

Ayumi came and brought the dress a few minutes later—a little black number with a halter top and a plunging neckline, flouncy layered skirts, and a lacy underlayer. I slipped into it so fast that it was ridiculous, and ran Roxas's brush through my impossibly long black hair, all with the incessant urging from Roxas for me to hurry. Aerith had allowed me to wear a pair of heels that she never wore—they were too young for her, she'd said—and luckily, they'd fit perfectly. They were open-toed black platforms with three inch heels that I was more than accustomed to, what with my mother putting me through countless runway shows growing up.

Roxas watched me avidly from his bed the entire time I got ready, his eyes traveling back and forth with every trip I took from one place to another. His arms were folded behind his head in a relaxed manner, even though he'd been telling me to hurry just the few minutes before.

"Stop staring at me," I snapped in amused irritation as I slipped on my shoes. "It's weird."

"Can't help it," he grinned. "My girlfriend's hot."

"Oh, please," I mumbled half-heartedly, embarrassed. I went back to the bathroom, very aware of how my hips swayed when I walked in heels, just as any woman's hips would. I fixed my hair once more, and then was ready to go.

"Mind if I just leave my other clothes and stuff here?" I asked him.

"Doesn't bother me," Roxas said, sitting up and glancing over at his cell phone for the time. "We can just stay the night here after the party."

"Oh," I said, folding my arms over my chest.

"Oh?" he repeated, walking over to me and slipping his arms around me so that his clasped hands rested on my lower back. Even in my heels, I only came to his nose in height, proving that I was the shortest of the short. "That's all you can say at the promise of basking in _my _presence for an entire night?"

"Oh, I forgot," I giggled, wrinkling my nose up at him. "You're 'Mr. Stud.' You'll have to forgive my forgetfulness, sir."

He grinned wickedly. "Yeah, you'd _better_ be calling me sir. Sir, mister, master, Your Majesty, and any variations of those suffixes."

I scoffed. "Oh, I should, should I? I kinda like the name Mr. Tub-Tub, though. Rolls off the tongue just the right way."

A mischievous glint glimmered in Roxas eyes and he growled. "I know what else rolls off of the tongue just the right way, little chicken," he snarled playfully as he leaned closer to me. My heart began to beat faster, as I still wasn't used to being kissed so easily and so often yet.

I closed my eyes, waiting for his tender kisses to feather across my lips, but alas—he did not. Instead, he left me there to pout and chase him all the way out to the car, where he laughed at me as I attempted repeatedly to get myself up into the truck. I cursed him in Korean, and finally, he stopped laughing long enough to help me into my seat. Then, he shut the door, got into his own seat, and we were off to Olette's or Kairi's or whoever's house it was we were going. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive, wondering how things were going to go tonight.

Could it be that Kairi had invited me purely because she had a plan to sabotage me?

**x-x-x**

**A/N: There ya go, hope you liked it . . . I will try to update soon, I currently have Love Must Come: Rebirth that I am also working on, but I will take turns. I will write one chapter of LMC, and then one of this, and so on. Anyway . . . Hope that chapter was worth waiting a damn year or whatever for, lol!**

**P.S. I am aware that the hospital part was a little janky, what with Kairi having magically known she was there, but let's just say for the intentions of this fic, Roxas called Namine, and Nami told Kai. And Roxas is a big, macho hottie who has money and he paid for them to bandage her up and check her head. Anyway . . . Bye.**


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